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StevenT
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31 Jan 2012, 6:37 pm

I have a friend from high school who I lost contact with when I went to college. Now it’s been almost five years since I last heard from him and I just learned from people who know him that he wants to talk to me again. I want to call him but I’m too nervous, I have bad social anxiety and I’m embarrassed about facing him after not bothering to call him for all these years. I’m afraid he’ll be mad at me or he’ll ask why I haven’t called him. What should I say to him?



goodwitchy
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31 Jan 2012, 7:49 pm

Have you looked/found your friend on facebook?

It might be easier to type a "hi there" note. For me this would be much more comfortable than a phone call.
A written note will give you time to word what you want to say.

If you'd prefer to call him or can't find him on facebook, maybe write down a few things you'd like to say and talk about before you call (?)

I'm having the same internal fight with myself. There are people I want to contact after a few years, but I don't know what to say and I feel bad for avoiding them.


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Last edited by goodwitchy on 31 Jan 2012, 7:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

justalouise
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31 Jan 2012, 7:50 pm

Remember, he didn't call you either. It's OK! I have good friends who I only talk to once every year, or less...we don't hold it against each other :)

What about things like facebook? Seems like everyone has those now. Email maybe? I'm sure that's contact information you could get from these mutual acquaintances of yours.

You should go for it, rediscovering old friends is great!



NicoleG
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31 Jan 2012, 9:38 pm

If he asks why you didn't call you can just state that life got the better of you, but you're calling now. If he's asking about you, then most likely you'll only have a couple of moments of awkwardness before he puts you back at ease, especially if you were really good friends before.



NicoleG
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31 Jan 2012, 9:38 pm

It's also quite common to lose touch with high school friends after graduating. It's not really a big deal.



namaste
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02 Feb 2012, 12:50 pm

I lost contact with a friend after we both got married
Some time back i found her on facebook and added her
we renewed our friendship by calling up each other
and then meeting once
But then it fizzled out
things had changed, we changed as people, our circumstance are different now
we are no longer college student

its not working i dont get her calls nowadays
and no interaction on facebook also.


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quirkyandlaughing
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03 Feb 2012, 12:50 am

The older you get, the more this will happen & it gets REALLY easy. Especially with Facebook in the picture. 5 years isn't long, though, so I totally understand why you're nervous.

Like everyone else, I vote for Facebook. If that's not an option, I would recommend just leading with the fact that you miss this person. I don't think you have to explain why you fell out of touch. And from what I've observed on FB, unless there was a big falling out, nobody really does.

If you guys did end with an argument, that's much more nuanced & is beyond my scope. I really suck at those interactions.