knowing not to do something as opposed to WHY not to do it

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cant remember who it was, and i wont name names in case i get it wrong, but someone on WP was saying that they baked cookies for someone and the other person thought it was creepy (personally, i'd probably like cookies baked for me but no luck so far )

i'll admit it would be weird coming from a total stranger (unless maybe you were in/from a different culture), but i was under the impression they knew they other person.


anyway, point is, i know not to do this, but am unsure why (aside from the fact they have been poisoned, but of its from someone they knew and liked ) - this is a simplistic example...


it would be like memorizing that 1+1=2, 2+1=3, etc
then when someone asks you "whats 1+1?" you could answer, but if they ask "whats 10561 + 24077?" - you couldnt answer as you had only memorized the outcome to the previous sums, but not the process by which to get there...


what im trying to get at is that sometimes i feel like im only memorizing a huge list of "what not to do" - although in some cases im unaware of WHY not to do them?

just wondered if anyone else knows what i mean?

Yep, I know what you mean and I've often felt like that. As I was growing up, my mum would often tell me not to do things or that certain things were "wrong", but rarely ever did I get an actual reason, even when I asked for one. Didn't do much good. Luckily I eventually worked a lot of it out for myself.

People will get mad at me because i do not see the logic in many social rituals. Even though they have absolutely no argument and do not try to see it from my perspective. Basically what everyone else does is right, what you do or conclude as a single person is always wrong. What has been done for the past decades is how it should be done in the future don't ask why because nobody can tell you.

I don't know about doing things wrong, but it's not uncommon for me to ask why certain things are done specific ways. I always prefer knowing why as opposed to how, but sometimes I have to chalk things down to 'social protocol'. The reason doesn't have to complex either, it could be as simple as 'because it shows respect' or something like that. With the example you gave, I can't think of a reason why it's creepy unless a complete stranger baked them specially for that person. If someone I knew baked me cookies out of the blue, first off I'd think 'I didn't know you baked', but that's beside the point, my next thought would be 'cool, free cookies'. I wouldn't think that they could be a health hazard or anything. But then again, I might be missing some social understanding here.

Yes, I remember being clueless about a lot of stuff growing up, and asking why about these things. But adults tend to be too busy to answer why, or they assume it should be obvious, so they get annoyed, and won't answer the question, or will snap at you.

Of course it's obvious to them--they all ready know why! But those who don't have to blunder along completely clueless, until such time as we can figure it out on our own, either through brain storming, observation, or coming across enlightenment in something we read or see on TV/movies.

Yeah, I know what you're talking about.



Aspies really just have feelings on a much lower intensity.



Like...most guys if they had to give a speech in front of strangers, they'd just skip that class.


If they actually attempted to give that speech, people would assume that they care a lot about their grades.

You kinda get what I mean?

There are some things that are just social constructs, the way things are done, and there is no other option than memorizing them. In your case, I think I understand why baking cookies would come off as creepy. When you bake cookies for someone, it means you are investing a lot of time and effort in that person (even if it was actually very easy). It even has some romantic undertones. The receiver would be creeped out even if she likes the person who gave them, because she would wonder why did you invest so much so early, why is he giving her so much attention, and most grown woman associate that with guys who relentlessly pursue girls, showering them with gifts and making them feel awkward and embarassed, who sometimes keep going despite rejection, and THAT's where the creepiness comes from.

Most people get that unconsiously. I had to do a lot of analyzing and a fair bit of research to understand that kind of stuff better, but now I can pass it on . If you don't understand what I meant, or see gaps in my logic, please tell.