I'm being forced to go out

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My mom keeps worrying about me not wanting to do things with friends over the weekend and is now MAKING me make plans with friends. I do get bored sometimes over the weekend but that doesn't mean I WANT to do things with friends. If I had a car, I would go and do things BY MYSELF, but I don't, which means my parents would have to go with me.

She says it's not good for me to fixate on this autism stuff, because I read a lot of books on it and I find it interesting and engaging.

What do I do?

I would say try it, you might just enjoy it!

If not, then reassure your mother you just prefer your own company.

That wouldn't work.

If I were in your shoes, I'd probably tell her that I had plans with friends, and just go out of the house for a while and not meet up with anyone.

Just tell your mother that some people are happy being more solitary and that you are one of them. If she says that's not so, you can tell her from me, that it is so, as I have always preferred being solitary, and don't enjoy being forced to be with other people all the time. I do go to family gatherings occasionally, but I am not a social butterfly, and there is nothing wrong with that. Being solitary is fine, as long as that's what you like. The only time being solitary is a problem is if you prefer being with others, but they don't want you around. Then the unwanted person can get bent out of shape over being rejected.

As a child I would go on walks and bike rides alone. I went to the movies alone, I occasionally eat out alone, unless my relatives take me out with them. My Asperger's problems bother me, but being alone is my preference, and not a problem for me. I am a happy hermit type.

Most people are more social, naturally. So your mother is worried because you don't fit into the main category. Just remind her that everybody is different, and you are okay with being a solo type person.

I do suggest, that while you are living with your mother, that you compromise, and go out one weekend a month with your friends. It should calm her down some. Just don't spend the other weekends like a couch potato, though. Engage in some sort of activity when you are at home, even if it is just reading a book. If all you are doing is being a couch potato, then you are just being lazy, and your mother has a right to be annoyed by that. Try helping with the cooking and cleaning on weekends, take up a hobby, read a good book, catch up on your home work, take online college courses, etc. Do SOMETHING, while you are at home. Other wise your mother will keep getting on your case, because acting bored looks a lot like being lazy, and that drives parents nuts.

Go out. As much as many of us would like to spend most of our time absorbed in our own interests, it's not always very healthy in the long run, and you may not have as many social opportunities when you are older and might look back and regret not taking advantage of the ones you did have.

Are these two separate issues, or one in the same?

I was diagnosed with Agoraphobia at the same time as I got my diagnosis for Autism so I understand how difficult it can be. Perhaps your mother wants you to have a balanced healthy social life and a variety of activities but doesn't realize the anxiety and stress that being in those situations can cause, try to explain it from your perspective and tell her that you don't always need to socialize with your friends because sometimes you need alone time to process everything, try to make her see things from your perspective.

Coming from my own personal experiences I know how you feel. My mum used to make me do things I didn't want to do like karate and she used to get me to go out with my friends too. At the time I really didn't want to do it to a point where even if I did want to go out, I would purposely not just to try and make some sort of point. This used to make me feel a bit angry and all I wanted to do is retreat back into solidarity.
I'm now 27 and I have the ability to socialise quite well for decent amounts of time. I can go out with friends on occasion and I have learned some invaluable socialising skills. Not one of my friends knows I have AS unless I tell them I can blend in that well at times. None of this would have been the case if my mum hadn't cajoled me in to going out and being with my friends. You may not want to do it and you may be scared when you go out but the skills you learn at your age will come in extremely handy when you are older. I know it's hard and I know how you feel because I have been there but it is the best thing for you to do if you want to develop socially (which is a critically important aspect of your future independence). Unless you are actually phobic of the outdoors and or other people then I would definitely recommend giving it a go.

Maybe this analogy will help you; think of this exercise of going out with your friends as a class at school you don't want to take. You will not like going to this class but you wouldn't have to go to it if it weren't important.

I hope that helps