Why the Obsession with Alcohol and/or Barhopping?

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Nereid
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17 Feb 2012, 3:31 am

It seems like alcohol is a mandatory supplement in order to create a'many social events. I've already been explained to that its a "social lubricant", but it only helps if you're the right kind of drunk. Depending on my mood, I dont want to talk at all or want to sleep when I drink. I dont enjoy drinking more than a few beers and resent the fact that if I'm invited out, especially at night, there's a VERY good chance I'll be expected to drink. Now some would say "dont hang out with people who drink". Literally everyone I know well enough to hang out with right now is a drinker. I'm already isolated socially as it is. Why is it so great to hang out at bars? Its loud, overpriced, bad service, dirty bathrooms, and I have to shout at the person standing next to me. Apparently for twenty-somethings, this is supposed to be a good time, and for some reason its not looked down upon to not remember the night before.

I guess my question for those off you who enjoy either excessive social drinking or going to bars, why is that so often a choice over a variety of other activities?



unduki
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17 Feb 2012, 3:54 am

This has always been a problem for me, especially during my later teens/early twenties when everyone else was doing it with such abandon. You wouldn't think not drinking would be so offensive, but when everyone else is drinking and you're not, you stick out like a sore thumb. It doesn't really change as you get older, either, except more people know they're alcoholics or have had a dui, so you might see fewer people drinking...

I'm still not going to drink. I don't find it enjoyable. Bars are gross and drunks are unstable at best. I'm never going to fit in so why put myself in a situation that's uncomfortable for me.


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ECJ
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17 Feb 2012, 4:09 am

I too find this has always been a problem for me, especially when I was at university. I never understood why alcohol was so important, or why people wanted to go to noisy, smelly bars and clubs.
I'm teetotal, always have been, always will be. My friends used to joke that when I was drinking water, it was actually vodka......what's wrong with water, I don't know!
I just try to avoid bars and drinking socially as much as I can.



justalouise
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17 Feb 2012, 4:27 am

I spent years hanging out with a larger crew of regular drinkers, sober the entire time. I'd just say "No thanks, I'm good!" or something like that when someone offered me a drink.

I had a friend who quit drinking but felt awkward at parties afterwards, so she started just drinking water out of a beer bottle. Sort of like a security blanket. Regardless, she said it helped her a lot.

Bars are appealing to most people because they are one of the only establishments around that offer a neutral meeting space, purely social in nature, noisy enough to mask ambient noise and casual conversation, and they offer legal substances that lower inhibition/often relax people.

I miss my old neighborhood bar.



Keeno
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17 Feb 2012, 5:53 am

I do drink in bars but despise the pressure to make people do so. It happened to me big time at university, despite when I first started there I wasn't of legal drinking age.

Cafes or coffee shops are an excellent alternative for a social meeting space.



faerie_queene87
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17 Feb 2012, 6:15 am

I find a chat over a drink quite enjoyable, especially in esthetically nice bars with skilled bartenders/unusual drink recipes. But it would be even better without the alcohol. Dealing with non-sober people is just too confusing for me... I don't know how or why I should talk to someone who isn't capable of thinking clearly and remembering the conversation.


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17 Feb 2012, 11:11 am

During my University years, I spent literally ALL of my time studying which was a social activity for me. We always did our homework in groups. Because of this, I was often called "lame" by friends that frequently went out drinking.

Since entering the professional world, however, I have found it impossible to avoid attending social events held at bars or pubs. Fortunately, I enjoy high quality Irish whiskey and do not have a problem with becoming too drunk.

In order to deal with the noise of bars, I try to focus on the fact that the noise means I am not required to carry a conversation. It also provides me with an opportunity to stay sort of in the background of the group and observe the behaviour of others in uninhibited states. Believe it or not, in this manner, I have found that some people I previously thought were good people were in fact, not or vice versa.

It also helps that my city recently enacted an anti-smoking ordinance in bars and restaurants. I have smoked cigars very occasionally in the past but pervasive cigarette smoke makes me ill.



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17 Feb 2012, 11:31 am

faerie_queene87 wrote:
I find a chat over a drink quite enjoyable, especially in esthetically nice bars with skilled bartenders/unusual drink recipes. But it would be even better without the alcohol. Dealing with non-sober people is just too confusing for me... I don't know how or why I should talk to someone who isn't capable of thinking clearly and remembering the conversation.


Bingo!


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1000Knives
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17 Feb 2012, 4:48 pm

http://stronglifts.com/are-you-strength-training-freak/
I don't know, this article is about weight lifting, but what he says is quite true in my book, the way people are.

Quote:
The coworkers, always commenting on the home made meals you eat behind your desk. Meanwhile, they go to Toxic Hell every noon because they're too lazy to cook and bring food to work, to then feel depressed after seeing themselves in the bathroom mirror after lunch. They wished they had more time and more motivation to train 3x/week like you do, while trying to lure you to happy hour.

Sounds familiar?

Good news - it's normal to feel a bit out of place, even lonely. But after reading the stories of StrongLifts Members and Gene Landrum's book "Empowerment," you might feel better. Successful lifters are almost always "mis-fits" inside their families, friends and gym. Everybody knows "it's lonely at the top," it's as if NOT fitting is required to success.


So I mean, yeah, it's about weight lifting, but yeah.

I feel this way, too, I'm becoming more and more distant from my friends, as I don't drink. Thankfully they still invite me over individually, but now my once nerdy friends are having parties and drinking like crazy now. To me, reading something like that was quite encouraging, I mean it's about weightlifting, but it applies to anyone who has like, goals, and aspirations, and the like.



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17 Feb 2012, 4:52 pm

faerie_queene87 wrote:
I find a chat over a drink quite enjoyable, especially in esthetically nice bars with skilled bartenders/unusual drink recipes.


Whereabouts do you live? I see that you're a bit of a Doctor Who fan, and I know that that programme has a cult audience in North America, so I'm guessing the United States?

Quote:
But it would be even better without the alcohol.


Do you not have decent coffee bars o'er there if alcohol isn't your thing?

Also, are you not into beer? Forget basic American lager, which doesn't taste of anything anyway. Find beers with real taste - you're sure to find something that you like depending on your palate.

Quote:
Dealing with non-sober people is just too confusing for me... I don't know how or why I should talk to someone who isn't capable of thinking clearly and remembering the conversation.


Because if you're both like that, it can be quite fun.

I'm on a bottle of Jennings Bitter (3.5%). Cheers. :)



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17 Feb 2012, 10:23 pm

You don't have to drink if you don't want to. It's perfectly normal to have a coke or something. Nobody will know that it's just coke and not bourbon and coke. If someone asks why you don't drink you can say lots of things. You have to be up early in the morning, you have a stomach problem, you are allergic to alcohol (while possible, it's not common and most will assume you used to have a drinking problem and stop asking), you are on meds that alcohol interferes with, your clotting factor is low and alcohol makes it lower, or hint that you used to have a drinking problem. Say "I finished a lifetime of drinking much earlier than expected, so I'm sticking with Mtn Dew". Lots of people your age are ex problem drinkers and people respect that you stopped and won't ever pressure you or expect you to drink again. They may ask if being around others who are drinking bothers you, but just tell them no, you are fine with it.


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faerie_queene87
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18 Feb 2012, 6:17 am

Tequila wrote:
faerie_queene87 wrote:
I find a chat over a drink quite enjoyable, especially in esthetically nice bars with skilled bartenders/unusual drink recipes.


Whereabouts do you live? I see that you're a bit of a Doctor Who fan, and I know that that programme has a cult audience in North America, so I'm guessing the United States?

Quote:
But it would be even better without the alcohol.


Do you not have decent coffee bars o'er there if alcohol isn't your thing?

Also, are you not into beer? Forget basic American lager, which doesn't taste of anything anyway. Find beers with real taste - you're sure to find something that you like depending on your palate.

Quote:
Dealing with non-sober people is just too confusing for me... I don't know how or why I should talk to someone who isn't capable of thinking clearly and remembering the conversation.


Because if you're both like that, it can be quite fun.

I'm on a bottle of Jennings Bitter (3.5%). Cheers. :)


Lol no, I'm Italian, but it's kind of difficult to deduce. I don't conform :D

About "would be better without the alcohol" I was actually being literal (maybe the "the" was misplaced - sorry)... To me, it is just a recipe "ingredient" (ok, not the alcohol itself, but something with it) with side effects I don't like or need. Weird, I know.

If I could choose between a Piña Colada and a Virgin Colada (love the taste!) I'd choose the second I can drink it as much as I want, while I can have only one or two of the first unless I want to fall asleep on the spot... which is the only outcome of me drinking "too much". Perfectly logical, right? :lol:

Cheers :D


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Subotai
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18 Feb 2012, 6:49 am

I really don't think drinking is mandatory, it's a minority but I always seem to meet people who will order a non alcoholic drink at a bar, nobody judges them for it. If you like it then drink, if not then order a virgin.



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18 Feb 2012, 6:56 am

Nereid wrote:
I've already been explained to that its a "social lubricant"

I wouldn't recommend it as a lubricant. :wink:


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Tequila
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18 Feb 2012, 8:20 am

faerie_queene87 wrote:
Lol no, I'm Italian, but it's kind of difficult to deduce. I don't conform :D


I'd love to visit Italy! Is Doctor Who popular there?

Quote:
About "would be better without the alcohol" I was actually being literal (maybe the "the" was misplaced - sorry)... To me, it is just a recipe "ingredient" (ok, not the alcohol itself, but something with it) with side effects I don't like or need. Weird, I know.


Ah, OK. I see what you mean. From my perspective, though, many beers need the alcohol in order to be drinkable. Look at how many great non-alcoholic beers there are.... Erdinger Alkoholfrei (0.4%) is drinkable but that's all. I would never bother with non-alcoholic lager.

Quote:
If I could choose between a Piña Colada and a Virgin Colada (love the taste!) I'd choose the second I can drink it as much as I want, while I can have only one or two of the first unless I want to fall asleep on the spot... which is the only outcome of me drinking "too much".


I take it you have a very low tolerance to alcohol then? Having said that, cocktails may actually be quite different from beers in the alcohol sense. To my shame, I must say that I have not had either Piña Colada nor its non-alcoholic equivalent. :(



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18 Feb 2012, 1:58 pm

This is going to sound VERY judgemental, but I gain more respect for people when I found out they don't drink. I don't have less respect for people who do drink, I just have the same amount of respect for the person as I did when I didn't know that they drank. Even at my age, (and ESPECIALLY at my school) drinking is the "thing to do" at parties. I have never head of anyone having a party at my school that didn't involve alcohol. People will stand around in the washrooms and say "Wasn't that a great party last Saturday?" and their friend says "Yes, I got sooooo drunk!" They even drink at school events such as dances, (which they aren't actually supposed to be doing). Even my best friend from elementary school, who I never pictured drinking when I knew her better, drinks. I don't understand why if someone at my school has a party, there NEEDS to be alcohol. :(