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gailryder17
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28 Feb 2012, 7:25 pm

First, you have to read my posts in this thread: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt190757.html

In case you don't want to, I'll sum it up. My guy friend and I were having fun (I was at school) and I threw water at him and he said stop but I did it anyway. He choked me and then chased after me and threatened me. He apologized to me the next day, saying "I'll never forgive myself if you don't forgive me, blah blah blah" and later wrote me something, but I rejected him both times.

During the weekend, I apologized for being so cold and such when he tried to apologize (I called him crazy and ran) and said that maybe we can be friends again sometime, but not now, because I need space and I can't trust him (when he threatened me and he was NOT joking, I ran upstairs crying). Today, he tried talking to me during my first period class, bringing up something random, I don't remember. I ignored him. I keep feeling like I want to talk to him or forgive him and become his friend again, but I've been told that I can forgive him, but shouldn't befriend someone so volatile.


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zzmondo
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28 Feb 2012, 8:57 pm

You can forgive him so you can at least get along in school, you don't have to be around someone like that as friend. I used to have a friend at school as well but don't hang out with him anymore or sit around and talk to him much because I lost respect for the guy. I lost respect for him because he turned out to be a very self-centered person. Like you, I also felt like I was being cold to him so I did apologize for being so cold to him.
At this point, I would at least talk back to him as there appears to be no harm in talking back. That way, you can also let him know that you need space and time while thinking if you could be friends with him again (this sounds too personal for me to make a judgment on whether he is your real friend or not). If he still keeps going up to you and doesn't respect the fact you need to be alone, then you should probably watch yourself around him in the future.
This is the best advice I can think of right just from that similar personal experience I had. Hope this helps!



questor
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28 Feb 2012, 9:32 pm

You are both volatile, and immature. Neither one of you is ready for close friendships. When you splashed water at him and refused to stop, you were out of line. When he got rough after that, he was out of line.

When you do something to someone that bothers them, and they ask or tell you to stop, then you are supposed to STOP! Other wise the other person is justified in feeling angry and hurt by your bad behavior towards them. And sometimes, when people feel that way they get rough, and sometimes it can escalate until someone gets hurt.

You both need to back off until you are both better able to control your behavior.


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gailryder17
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01 Mar 2012, 6:42 pm

This is the frustrating part: I want to be friends with him for some stupid emotional reason that I wish didn't exist. I saw him today and his friend kept urging me to talk to him but I just couldn't. I don't know why. I wanted to be friends with him, but I didn't want to hang around his stupid friends who have nothing interesting to say. So now I'm bored and miserable (I have friends to hang out with, but they bore me sometimes).


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techstepscientist
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02 Mar 2012, 7:22 am

You continued to splash water on him, even so he asked you to stop. But for these actions, he would NOT of got rough with you.

You guys have to try and 'get over this' as in, the emotional turmoil your both feeling. Your both very immature and need to get together and focused on something else (other than what happened). You will find it difficult at the beginning and probably will not speak to each other as you would normally would, but it will get easier as time goes on. Find that bit of courage and ask him if it wants to play on the X box game or watch a movie etc.. (what you normally do together). The quicker you ask, the quicker you two will back as mates.

For future reference, excitement can lead to aggression, if there is not sufficient time out's or breathers in between (to lower adrenalin levels).



minervx
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03 Mar 2012, 12:44 am

i think you had every right to distance yourself from him during that period of time. even if you annoyed him, his response was not right.

if i were in your position, i'd say something like:

"hey. both of us made some mistakes, but its okay. i forgive you. i think its best that we stay in touch, but not be close friends. acquantainces that talk regularly."