More socially anxious around certain people

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ocdgirl123
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08 Mar 2012, 8:08 pm

I am generally not socially anxious, however, with certain people, I tend to be VERY socially anxious. Teenage boys are the ones I feel most socially anxious around. I also tend to be anxious teenage girls but not it's not quite as strong. Though I prefer not to spend time with little kids, I tend to be less socially anxious around them than teenagers. I am the least socially anxious with people aged 19-55, whether they are female or male isn't that important around this age group, though I tend to understand women a bit better, I am not socially anxious around men. I sometimes tell people that I am "not allowed to be with friends with people my own age" to get out of talking to them.

I worry about they are going to reject me if do something embarrassing, which is likely in my case for personal reasons. I also worry that they will say something that will make me upset/anxious and that will happen and they will reject because of that, which will make me even MORE upset, and there are other worries attached to that, that I don't really want to discuss.

Anyone else?



questor
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08 Mar 2012, 9:59 pm

You are young, still. Time and adult experience will reduce the stress of social anxiety, but not even NTs are ever completely free of it. In the mean time you need to do stuff to distract and occupy your mind.

- Exercise, the endorphins this generates will boost your mood.
- Listen to and/or play music.
- Read funny stories.
- Take up a hobby.
- Join a club of something you are interested in.
- Volunteer with charities. There are people out there who are worse off than you.
- Watch funny TV/DVD shows.
- Look up interesting stuff on the web.
- Get plenty of rest. Being over tired makes people more nervy and cranky.
- Eat a healthy diet, and enough of it. Being too hungry adds to fatigue, and also makes people cranky. I know about this from an experience with a dieting sister. She turned into a monster on a trip to a relatives funeral, and ended up leaving me and my mother stranded at the motel--she was the driver. Fortunately some of our relatives were also staying at that motel. My mother's brother took us to the funeral and a cousin who was living in the town next to ours brought us home the next day. It was her father (one of my mother's brother-in-laws) who had died. I am still sorry decades later, that she had to put up with my sister's drama at her father's funeral. All this because my sister was dieting, and skipped breakfast, and lunch, and when we were finally able to look for a restaurant after the viewing at the funeral home, almost all the eateries were closed. My sister had been getting more and more cranky, and finally totally blew her top and took off.--Fortunately after we did find a place to eat and after she dropped us off at the motel. I know myself that I feel terrible and cranky if I go too long between meals. It's not healthy to do that, and makes it harder to keep your cool when you are anxious. So don't skimp on meals!


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If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured, or far away.--Henry David Thoreau