Friends who say one thing and do another

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NeXus_Blueliner
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08 Mar 2012, 8:59 am

Countless 'friends' now have told me they care and will always be there for me. Over time these 'friends' have then started ignoring me when I talk and have only bothered with me if a) it relates back to them. b) it's something they feel like answering to. c) if they're bored and have no one else. It's just awesome how most people will say one thing and not realise they're shallow, selfish, self centered mindless sheep. I'd rather a person not care about me at all than them pretend to just to seem like a good person. It's all bulls**t. I'm loyal to my friends, I help them out when they're down even if I feel down, I do my best to understand their problems. Other people are all take and no give.

Noticed today that two people seem to have blocked me on facebook for no apparent reason whatsoever. Times like these and all the others make me realise most humans are just not worth anyones time. Would also be nice to see someone with the guts to say things to your face too. But no, again, most are cowards and take the easy ways out.

After having years of very little friends and little to no social contact, I realise how much better off I was like that. 80-90% of having friends in the last 8 years has been all trouble/bad memories and has messed me up in so many ways. I do have some good close friends but even then sometimes I wonder what's the point.

I've kinda forgotten my point now but yeah, I just don't really see the need or point of human friends when most are two faced and nasty people when it comes to it.


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PTSmorrow
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08 Mar 2012, 9:16 am

My experience is that people say things in order to be held for kind. Like "i'll be there." But these are only empty phrases like someone asking "how are you?" and you're supposed to say "fine". They don't want to really know how you are. It's just sort of small talk, meaningless phrases.

Expect the worst from people. If they are better, you can rejoice. If not, you don't need to be disappointed.



NeXus_Blueliner
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08 Mar 2012, 9:50 am

PTSmorrow wrote:
My experience is that people say things in order to be held for kind. Like "i'll be there." But these are only empty phrases like someone asking "how are you?" and you're supposed to say "fine". They don't want to really know how you are. It's just sort of small talk, meaningless phrases.

Expect the worst from people. If they are better, you can rejoice. If not, you don't need to be disappointed.


I've learnt to expect the worst now. It's just become a thing where you can look at them and laugh and think 'what was I thinking with you' I actually had the 'how are you?' the other day lol, I just laughed to myself cause I know this person couldn't care less and only did it to seem like a good nice person. She's really not and never will be.


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League_Girl
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08 Mar 2012, 1:22 pm

I never believe people when they say they will always be there. I always think "Are you kidding me? You hardly know me and you can just change your mind after you know me better." Or I think "Yeah right, things change and so do friends."

Even in marriages and relationships I have never believed "I will never leave you." Uh what if I started to get abusive and started to do drugs and started to spend all our money or what if I became a compulsive shopper?" s**t happens and even though these things would never happen but if they did would he still not leave me?



questor
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08 Mar 2012, 1:52 pm

I agree with PTSmorrow. These are meaningless phrases that are used for small talk, and are usually not actually meant literally. Our problem is that we often take stuff people say literally, and can't always tell when it is not meant that way. When people say this stuff they are "well wishing" you, but they don't usually want to be involved in actually helping you with any problems you might have. They want your problem to go away, but are too busy with their own stuff to lend a hand, so they use these "polite" phrases instead. Most NTs understand the expressions are not meant literally, so they don't get upset over it.

Perhaps you could get a relative or friend to compile a list of these polite, but meaningless phrases for you.

Don't be too bent out of shape over other people not helping you out. Everyone has their own problems to deal with, and those around you may have too much on their plates to be of much help to you. Also, you may have come across as too needy, and/or too drama queenish with your own problems. That can eventually drive people to back off of contact with one. If you've been trying to use them for a shoulder to cry on or to have them listen to your rants, you would do better to see a therapist to do your venting, as your friends and family are not trained professionals, and may feel over whelmed by your own strong feelings.


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