baka-kun wrote:
it was nice to be actually seen, but in her eyes im a fake, and try as i might i cant seem to shake the act. i find myself stuck in between these two world and i dont really fit in either.
im not quite sure why im posting this but anyone else feel like this?
It's cool to have someone that can relate to you, but I don't see why she should consider you a "fake". Everyone puts on mask in public and tries to get by as well as they can. It's obviously more draining for someone with AS than for most NTs (generally), but if you muddle through as best you can in a way that works for you, then that's a good thing.
You may feel that your are stuck between two worlds, but I think most people feel this way (AS and NT). You should be a bit easier on yourself and also proud of what you've accomplished. Despite the challenges you face with AS, you've managed to make friends and have a life, something which is difficult for AS and NT alike to do. I guarentee that some people look at you with envy and wish they could fit in to the world as well as you.
I think this quote is apt:
"The funny thing is, nobody really ever knows how much anybody else is hurting. We could be standing next to someone who is completely broken, and we wouldn’t even know."