Disimularity at school

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Its so very easy.. plain for me to see that I am different, all my life everyone has treated me different from others, very few people become my friends.

This year I moved to a different school, expecting to attend the school with my girlfriend, who I broke up with on new years eve , thats a different story, but I will say she was a serial liar. I would have changed schools but the plans were already in motion and im too easy going, or lazy, or maybe apathetic.

Now I am at this private school. It is so completely different from all the public schools ive been too, Im treated even more like an outlier and it doesnt help that everyone seems to be stuck up, they have hardly a spec any suffering showing anywhere on them, and they all have some kind of agenda, the majority of girls seem to have a sheep persona that goes something like, "haha im so pretty and privileged" its so very, annoying, to say the least, Oh and dont get me started on the guys, most of them dress the same after school hours, make the same jokes as eachother, have the same hair, talk the same and keep to their own groups, whom are, by the way, the same as eachother.

maybe its partly an illusion from wearing the same uniforms, I dont know.

students here seem to walk a distance away from me, ive also noticed that if in a crowd, people give me a subtle space around me if it can be helped, people often avoid eyecontact with me, but I sometime catch people watching me. The teachers seem nice enough though, and seem to enjoy talking to me for some reason over most students, or maybe they pitty me.

I thought maybe the students were showing some subtle racism, I am part indigenous, about a quarter. My skin is white but my features give away that im part Australian Aboriginal, I am very much a minority. I don't want to conclude on that.. I hate thinking my appearance should get in the way of my life.

To be a little more fair, I do find THEIR difference interesting, but it doesnt make me afraid of them; differences such as the way they sit (so very formal, whilst I sit in a very slack and relaxed way), they stand straightly, the guys are mostly douchbags, girls are mostly stuck up, I know I sound like such a hater right now.

It might be important to note that this school isnt even privileged, it is quite litterally, the poorist highschool in town, it just seems privileged because of its title of private school, which leads people to equivalent the schools priviledgness or whatever, to sterotype that all private schools are privileged. provided that you trust my word, that would make many of them dilusioned about that.

I feel now that there is no point to this post, I guess that I just felt like giving my thoughts a place to get out .. but I will ask if anyone else feels so different, I feel so different, its lonely feeling like I cannot find a mind who can know me..

even the internet ignores me now

I remember feeling like that when I was at school. The feeling of being completely an outsider, and not being able to understand the casual and innocent happiness of other people.

In fact, I still feel a lot like that in many situations, although I've got used to it a bit now...

I would guess that your classmates don't have malicious feelings towards you but instead just aren't mature enough to deal with people who are a little different. It sucks, but unfortunately thats just what most teenagers, and a lot of adults, are like. Remember you aren't alone, I think most people on this site would be able to relate to your experience in one way or another. Try to feel good about who you are, and not let the idiots get to you.