Is there some "law of nature" behind this phenomen

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So. I make a group of friends. I like to think I'm "one of the group." Simple. Easy. If you're one of the group, you and the group do things together.
Everyone's included, has their own definitive and unique roles, and boundaries are set and clear, right?

I think I'm coming to the realization that these are my rules that make sense when people follow predictable patterns
Which is....never.

I like to sit with my friends during meals at the campus cafeteria. It's my only time that I'm social. College has served to make me even more of an introvert. So, when the "group" is planning to get together, I expect to know since I'm part of it. We all have a habit of saving seats for each other and letting each other know.

Why is it that I am only haphazardly alerted to our get-togethers? Why, when I try to get people together, does it not work out, ever? What's the deal? Is there some law behind the unpredictability of all this?

Like, "we will act as a coherent group 83.457981254 percent of the time, except for the 23.67 % differential where we decide not to follow this percentage."

That's just idiocy, and its confusing.
Anyone else have this issue?

I sometimes fall through the net of the "group" with which I am acquainted at work. It's weird because I always make an effort to make sure that everyone is invited to anything that I arrange. Even if I know some people are not going to be interested I still invite them so that they have the option and feel included. I tend to think about their feelings, but sometimes they are quite remiss with mine and do things which remind that I'm not that tight in the group. Meh.

I guess I just don't like the guessing game you seem to have to play to see how you stand in a group.