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Anyone else ever done this?

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The_Postmaster
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24 Mar 2012, 4:37 pm

I was just at chess club last night, when two of the other people there asked if I wanted to go to the mall with them on Sunday. I made a huge error at this point. I assumed that, like me, everyone else did things for practical reasons, so I asked, "why?" What I meant by this was, "to what end will we be going to the mall?" My reaction wasn't received well by the other parties involved. I feel so stupid now. I didn't understand that they simply wanted to hang out, and even if I had understood that, I probably wouldn't have been able to fathom why. It just seems so unfair that other people can understand these sorts of things without being told, and yet, every time I'm in a social situation, I'm grasping at straws.

Does this ever happen to anyone else?
Sorry, this post partially became venting.



muslimmetalhead
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24 Mar 2012, 4:45 pm

The_Postmaster wrote:
I was just at chess club last night, when two of the other people there asked if I wanted to go to the mall with them on Sunday. I made a huge error at this point. I assumed that, like me, everyone else did things for practical reasons, so I asked, "why?" What I meant by this was, "to what end will we be going to the mall?" My reaction wasn't received well by the other parties involved. I feel so stupid now. I didn't understand that they simply wanted to hang out, and even if I had understood that, I probably wouldn't have been able to fathom why. It just seems so unfair that other people can understand these sorts of things without being told, and yet, every time I'm in a social situation, I'm grasping at straws.

Does this ever happen to anyone else?
Sorry, this post partially became venting.



Eh, people used to say "Why?" if if asked an uncomfortable question In middle school
Now they're polite and avoid me.

But yeah, I do that sometimes.

But I have more problems with non-verbal communication.
Like how i don't feel enough embarrassment.


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faerie_queene87
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25 Mar 2012, 10:05 am

That happens to me sometimes, when I don't think before talking :lol:

If you are unsure why someone asks "Do you want to go to [insert place here] with us?", maybe try asking - trying to sound curious about it - "Is there anything going on that day?". It usually works for me. :)

Also, next time you could try talking about the mall again with your chess mates, just to show appreciation for their offer (eg. You know, there is this thing I'd like to buy/there is this shop I really like, so I thought it would be nice to go together next time).


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AngelKnight
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25 Mar 2012, 10:41 am

The_Postmaster wrote:
I was just at chess club last night, when two of the other people there asked if I wanted to go to the mall with them on Sunday. I made a huge error at this point. I assumed that, like me, everyone else did things for practical reasons, so I asked, "why?" What I meant by this was, "to what end will we be going to the mall?" My reaction wasn't received well by the other parties involved. I feel so stupid now. I didn't understand that they simply wanted to hang out, and even if I had understood that, I probably wouldn't have been able to fathom why. It just seems so unfair that other people can understand these sorts of things without being told, and yet, every time I'm in a social situation, I'm grasping at straws.

Does this ever happen to anyone else?
Sorry, this post partially became venting.


Yes. So relax :) Everyone can be a screwup some of the time.

If it helps, I did something like this last night without meaning to. And I passed my 30th birthday long ago.

(past -> passed. I hate English...)



Last edited by AngelKnight on 26 Mar 2012, 2:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The_Postmaster
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25 Mar 2012, 5:40 pm

Well, that's a relief. At least I'm not the only one who's done this.
Also, @ faerie_queene87, thanks, that seems like good advice, I'll try that next time.



Cogs
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27 Mar 2012, 3:58 am

I make similar mistakes too, I cant see how others manage to figure these things out so quickly.

Somebody I was talking to said to 'come by and say hi sometime' and I responded with 'why' (as in 'please give me information as to what purpose this would have - what are you intending to get out of it', which is information I would need to know to understand what would be going on and what is expected from me in said situation), but based on the reaction I got that was clearly not the right first response to give.



Last edited by Cogs on 27 Mar 2012, 5:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

Luska
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27 Mar 2012, 4:10 am

The_Postmaster wrote:
I was just at chess club last night, when two of the other people there asked if I wanted to go to the mall with them on Sunday. I made a huge error at this point. I assumed that, like me, everyone else did things for practical reasons, so I asked, "why?" What I meant by this was, "to what end will we be going to the mall?" My reaction wasn't received well by the other parties involved. I feel so stupid now. I didn't understand that they simply wanted to hang out, and even if I had understood that, I probably wouldn't have been able to fathom why. It just seems so unfair that other people can understand these sorts of things without being told, and yet, every time I'm in a social situation, I'm grasping at straws.

Does this ever happen to anyone else?
Sorry, this post partially became venting.


Eh it's okay. Happens to me a lot. And people ask: "Are you a sociopath?" Or "This guy is weird" :?



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27 Mar 2012, 4:28 am

The_Postmaster wrote:
I was just at chess club last night, when two of the other people there asked if I wanted to go to the mall with them on Sunday. I made a huge error at this point. I assumed that, like me, everyone else did things for practical reasons, so I asked, "why?" What I meant by this was, "to what end will we be going to the mall?" My reaction wasn't received well by the other parties involved. I feel so stupid now. I didn't understand that they simply wanted to hang out, and even if I had understood that, I probably wouldn't have been able to fathom why. It just seems so unfair that other people can understand these sorts of things without being told, and yet, every time I'm in a social situation, I'm grasping at straws.

Does this ever happen to anyone else?
Sorry, this post partially became venting.

sad you missed out a opportunity to hang out and make friends
it does happen with me also, people find me weird and then i am not invited anywhere.


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