might be an odd question but:how to react to bragging,

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veridicus
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06 Nov 2006, 7:50 pm

social proofing, conspicuous consumption, all those sly ways of saying "I"m better than you?" or at least "I can validate my existence by whom I know or what I own"
Becuase these particular behaviors usually leave me staring at my feet hoping for someone to bring up an interesting topic ASAP. I also find myself drifting very far off mentally when people start talking about their social lives in general. I just can't relate, nor do I find these things too interesting...
that's pretty bad isn't it? I don't know whether this is an asperger's thing or just personal insecurities.
Anyway, wtf am I supposed to say?
"good for you" or "way to go"
It feels awkward to not have a response at all, but then, maybe that is most appropriate.


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DrowningMedusa
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06 Nov 2006, 8:06 pm

I know what you mean about not caring about other people's social lives; it's useless drivel that will have me staring into space lickety-split. But if you're in a position where you're asked for a reaction (or figure out that one is expected of you...) here's what I do:

If it's someone close to you (good friend, family memeber, etc...) my policy is nod and smile... if it's good. Grimace and pretend there's an annoying sound nearby if it's bad - the facial expressions are strikingly similar (think about it).

They know me, they know how I am, and although they can tell I'm not sincere, they'll usually appreciate the effort and cut it short, or they'll get mad at me for not listening but at least I'll be able to be honest with them and tell them it's of no interest to me... If they're truly my closest kin, they'll always forgive me this little idiosyncrasy...

Now, in the case where you're listening to someone you barely know go on and on, it depends on your mood. Do you feel like humoring them? If so, nod and smile or whatever... if not, just don't respond. I do this all the time when I go out for smoke breaks at work. Also it helps to be plugged into your mp3 player or whatever... then you have a legit excuse for not listening.



aleclair
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06 Nov 2006, 8:13 pm

What about using sarcasm?

Yeah, I know, it won't work socially. But that's probably what I'd do if I had half a mind in any social situation.

There's probably more name-dropping in my German class on some days than there is actual German. Name-dropping makes you feel so small and unimportant, a drop of water in a world of ponds and lakes; it seems everyone else but you knows these people, that they're the Messiah reborn, that you are defined by those whom you know...

It sickens me also. But you've got to learn to accept it.



veridicus
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06 Nov 2006, 8:13 pm

Thanks for the advice...
I guess it's common sense really, if I just look at it as a matter of practicing the appropriate response at the right time I'll eventually be able to glide through. I don't know why these things make me feel so "lost".
It would be much easier if people didn't expect everyone of worth to have the same attitude towards the social life as they do. Jest my two cents.
"way to go man! rack em up! climb away :lol: "


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Kineticosm
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07 Nov 2006, 12:12 am

I hate when this happens too. Sometimes I do find myself doing it, though. It really grates me and I just really don't know how to react, like you said. I just try not to say anything too stupid (which, usually consists of me not saying anything).



MelancholyBunny
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07 Nov 2006, 12:52 pm

Two words, "That's nice."



diseased
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07 Nov 2006, 5:53 pm

Personally, it depends.
I like MelancholyBunny's approach. Nice little needle in the ballon of ego.
I also like, if warranted, the completely-over-the-top approach.
"OMG OMG, you are SO cool! I wnat to be JUST like you when I grow up!! !!11!! !"
That kind of thing.
Also, I've found success with the "yay you... moving on, now" approach.



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08 Nov 2006, 3:07 pm

MelancholyBunny wrote:
Two words, "That's nice."