Is she a real friend?

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An aspie I know is quite friendly towards me and we have met up and had coffee and lunch together before. She has invited me to come over to her place too.

Last year I heard through someone else that she had been discouraging others from socialising with me and had tried to stop another friend, a male, from spending time with him and his friends and family because she said I was too attractive or something like that. I don't know why she did that because one of the men is married and the other one is free to date if he wants to.

THe woman still seems to be friendly towards me but it put me off going to see her because of her talking behind my back and trying to keep other people away from me.

The woman lives on her own and someone told me that she may be jealous and want to keep her friends to herself.

What should I do?

Should I just leave her and her friends alone in case of trouble?

Should I only see her so that she is not jealous?

Should I only see the other friends and not see her at all?

Should I just pretend I don't know what she said and just see them all if they wish to see me?

Should I see her face to face and ask why she said it?

I think maybe she wants to keep "you" for herself. Sometimes, when you have a friend, you do not want to lose it, and tend to think if that person does not socialize with other people, then you would be her only friend. That is ot healthy, but if your friend is an Aspie it is understandable. That does not mean you should take it. I think you should talk to her and let her know you know what she did and how it made you feel, and explain to her that having another friends will not interfere with your friendship, and that if she does that again you are not gonna be able to continue being her friend. Remember to explain the situation very well, firm but calmly, so she does not feel confronted or attacked. Good luck!

Thank you Ilka.

When I was first told I didn't understand what the person was telling me, I couldn't read behind the lines as many autistic people cannot. It took me several days to realise what was going on even after I had been told.

I wasn't even that worried about it because I couldn't see the implications, now I can and I feel angry with her. It would be hard for me to speak to her because I would probably lose my temper and I know I would need to be calm.

It is a good suggestion to talk to her calmly though.