What can I do about my friends?

Post Reply New Topic

I would like too see my friends twice a week or maybe even more..... the problem is though sometimes i can go for ages without seeing my friendship group and the last time i saw my friends was about a month ago but i am hoping too go out this weekend. the issue is as well is that they have full time jobs now whereas i am struggling too be employed and i am figuring that they do most of there socalising at work these days. also 2 of my firends have long term girlfriends and really they do not go out as much any more and infact one them will be having his first child next year (even thoug he is only 21 and his gf is 19) so i will be seeing less of him. when i text one of my friends usually on a friday he will say by text "nah mate seeing girlfriend" and on a saturday when i text him he will say "dunno whats going on mate"


i have not got very good social skills becasue of my aspergers but how can i encourge my friends too go out and be social with me more? overall i have 5 friends in my social circle. i am just fustrated with them but maybe it could be my behaviour when i am social which is pushing them away? back when were all together at college 4 years ago i saw them everyday on a regular basis but since late 2008 when we left college its just never been the same

I think you are misreading your friends. I don't think they are trying to push you away. At this time in your and their lives, it is perfectly normal to develop new interests, and to have changes in ones life that tend to leave less time to spend with old friends. You mentioned the two main things--a romantic interest and a job. These definitely leave less time for old friends. I suggest, instead of trying to see all of them weekly or even more often, try to arrange a once a month get together with one at a time. That is, hang out with one of them one week end, another the next, and so on. That way they are more likely to try to find time to see you if it involves only once a month. Remember, besides the gf and the job, they also need to sleep, eat, run errands, and visit with their own relatives. This doesn't leave much time for other friends any more. It is not meant as a personal rejection of you. It's just that there are only 24 hours per day, and it's not enough for everything. You need to find some new friends now.

- Volunteer, it's a great way to meet people.
- Join a club--another great way to meet people.
- Take up a hobby and meet up with people who share your interest.
- Get involved in community functions and events.--Attend community meetings, go to events at local libraries, attend and/or participate in community theater performances, go to fairs and sports events, etc.

These are all great ways to meet people. Now get out there and find some new friends.