For those less fortunate than ourselves

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I've been reading a lot about trying to be more NT, learning social skills, fitting in, and getting NTs to understand how aspies think. Can you tell me, what is your experience of socialising with those who seem to be worse off than yourself? Those who may seem more awkward, lonelier, etc? I'm not intending to sound preachy, rather wondering how it works out as self-help.

You know - some people like to be social climbers and hang out with those who are more popular and/or wealthier than themselves - for which the price you pay is a certain amount of shame as you learn, or fail, to meaure up. And others like to mix with those who are less popular and wealthy. If it's done to feel like a big shot, I guess that's called "slumming it". Or it could be done out of genuine concern or loneliness.

I realise that funny things can happen, like assuming someone else is worse off than you when really, they aren't. I mean, if your loneliness drives you to speak to someone who appears more awkward than you, but they weren't driven to talk to you, which of you was really the lonelier?

I've got this place I go to, and after several months of thinking it was impossible, I think I've finally found someone worse off than me, so I've been focussing on having brief conversations with them. It's been very warming, although I don't know how its going to pan out - everything I do has turned to ashes so far. But maybe I just need to realise my true level and be in a big enough place that there is someone a bit like me.

When I first realised that whatever was wrong with me might actually have a name, I really wanted to go help autistic kids. But I found I wasn't wanted. I guess the people who run these organisations want super social helpers to bring these kids up to speed fast, not ones who are handicapped themselves. Personally I think this is cruel and faulty reasoning - like giving someone who is down a hole , a ladder with the lowest rung set way too high.

Anyway that's enough rambling - have you tried it, how did it work out?

i only associate with other working-class people, similar to myself. middle class folk never have wanted my company. and i never even see upper class people anywhere, 99.99% of the time. i bumped into ted turner once on an airplane in atlanta back in 1985, he was the only upper class person i can claim to have been anywhere near.

I usually spot those who look more awkward or lonely in a group. I don't like when I am in a big group and everyone is talking to each other in smaller groups but I don't manage to participate in one. Hence, I think that the other awkward ones might appreciate some company. If I had the chance to talk to them before, I usually go and try to make conversation. If I had not, I don't really know how to initiate a conversation, even though I would like to...

i'm glad my aspie group is manageably small.