Does my office mate look professional?
I am doing research in India and I share my office with one postdoc. I am annoyed by his habbits -- particularly the fact that he coughs and won't do anything about it, even though he said he was caughing for a year and a half. But he acts like its completely normal and doesn't go to the doctor. He caughs every half a minute and its kind of a dry caugh. He also drinks water every half a minute as well and the sound with which he swallows is very weird, as if something in his throat is superficially dry or something and he NEEDS to see a doctor but he won't. Besides he keeps yawing out lowd and saying ''oh god'' every half a minute as well. Now, we all say ''oh god'' from time to time, me included; but if it keeps repeating every half a minute throughout the day, it gets annoying.
Also, there are two or three people who come to his office every day and he speaks Hindi to them. While I know its India, usually people at RESEARCH INSTITUTES would speak English, even when they speak to each other. Hindi is the language of people on the streets. Besides, the fact that he speaks Hindi for few hours straight while I am right there in the room and I don't understand the language is rude. Talking for so long in the office while I am trying to concentrate on physics is rude anyway. If he has to talk he should find some other place to talk.
Now part of the issue is that the guy understands English worse than others. I mean, he understands english ok when I speak to him but not well, he gets confused by my Russian accent so sometimes i have to repeat myself twice. Again, most ppl in the institute understand me just fine. So big part of it is the fact that he knows English worse than others.
I immediately guessed what it was: from what I was told, rich families in India go to schools that teach in English from grade 1 up, while the poor ppl go to school that teach in Hindi. Now people who go to English speaking schools are the ones that go on to academia and so forth, while the kids going to Hindi speaking schools go on to become janitors. So, basically, he is one of the people who were going to become janitor but by some mystery he ended up in a place he simply doesn't belong to, which is why he keeps acting so much out of place.
Now when I asked him directly did he go to English high school or Hindi high school it turns out I was right: he went to Hindi high school. But you see, I had to ask him directly before he gave me that answer. But I deliberately at first didn't ask him about school. Instead I just asked simply why is it he doesn't know English well, without trying to guess why. So when I asked that first version of the question he simply said that he doesn't speak English because such and such person who comes to his office speaks Hindi. And he didn't even realize how ridiculous that sounded. How can interaction with ONE person possibly explain one's proficiency in language. Yet he didn't seem to see the utter ridiculousness of this; and then when I asked him AFTERWORDS what language was he taught in school he simply said Hindi while never even realizing that THIS is the one and only explanation of his language problems and NOT someone who comes to his room!
Also I notice that whenever the departmnt meets for tea most postdocs are trying to socialize with professors and so forth, but he never does. He usually sits in his office. Probably he realizees that he is out of place. Yet despite his ACTIONS speaking clearly and loudly of how low he sees himself, he never actually admitted that when I questioned him; instead he was acting all naive about it as if not going to the doctor is normal, and the fact that he doesn't speak English is just consequence of his friend speaking Hindi, etc. Apart from everything else, his voice is unusually high pitched and also hoarse. This is probably also related to his chronic coughs for which he won't see a doctor.
On top of everything else, he also sometimes sleeps in his office. His explanation is that he lives far away and it is very difficult to get to his home. Well I guess if I was him I would just take rickshaw so I don't understand what the problem is. He also dries his clothes in the office as well, although I would usually only see his clothes there late at night or early in the morning; during the daytime he usually takes them away. But still I have seen him change shirt a couple of times.
So how do you interpret his behavior? Do you think he is aware that most people don't act that way, but he keeps doing it because he sees himself as ''low status'' which makes it ''okay'' for him to do that (i mean people on the streets are a lot worse). Or do you think he is simply unaware of this, because he doesn't see himself from the outside?
You can't force anyone to see a doctor. I do suggest that you talk to some of the other Indian staffers about his health though, and suggest to them that they talk to him about seeing a doctor.
As for the language problem, he is not the only one with that problem. You have one, too. If you are working and living in India you should be learning to speak Hindi! DUH! It is okay for a tourist to not know the language, but someone living and working in a foreign country should always try to learn the language. To not do so is disrespectful of that country's people, so LEARN HINDI!
I had a cousin who was married to a guy in the army many years ago. She went with him when he was posted to a base in Germany. She was there for a couple of years, and never bothered to learn the language. I was young then, but felt ashamed of her for not learning the language. I also knew it was stupid of her not to do so. A few years after that an older girl who lived next door to me went to Germany for 6 months to study. She learned to speak German almost as good as the Germans in that time. I was pleased to hear that, as it's rude to live in a country without bothering to learn their language and at least some of their customs. Also, people who learn the language tend to get along better with the natives and have an easier time all around, like in asking directions, ordering from menus, getting all kinds of verbal assistance, etc. So learn the language. It will help you in your life there.
_________________
If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured, or far away.--Henry David Thoreau
It's typically those with AS who are being nit picked to death, as you are doing to your co-worker. While he might have some annoying habits, it's unreasonable to harass him about speaking Hindi, be bothered about his sleep schedule, and proclaim he doesn't belong there due to his background.
It should not be of your concern if he speaks to his professors or not, nor should it be your concern as to why he doesn't.
As for the cough, it could be that he has gone to the doctor and there isn't anything he can do about it. Perhaps he has TB or some type of voice disorder or tumor. Either way, you apparently have presented yourself as someone who is hostile towards him, rather than a friend, and you obviously have a low opinion of him due to his background, so I doubt he is going to open up and share his problems or personal details of his life with you.
mild allergies (hayfever, atmospheric pollution) will give you a constant coughing like you describe. i suffer from this most of the year and 'oh god' it is unpleasant but still persists with antihystamines (without them it'd be worse). i presume that he puts his hand when he coughs?
can you wear headphones at work, maybe listen to the radio sometimes when you need a break from background sounds?
maybe he cannot afford the rickshaw home if he works late - if he has lower wage, family expecting a cut of his wages, etc he will have less disposible cash available than yourself.
the office may well be a quieter place for him if he lives in a crowded house with his extended family, (as i understand, in India people often do).
as to whether your colleage 'belong's? well, if he is from a poorer background then he must have worked harder than most and be pretty darn smart to rise to the position he has... that must have been and continue to be really tough for him. what do you think?
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