What to do after saying something stupid?

Post Reply New Topic

What are some good & bad ways to deal with the situation after saying something stupid or wrong in some way? Please interpret this question in any way -- every interpretation is of interest to me, since I have problems with them all, & lots of room for improvement.

You could humorously try to poke fun at the stupid thing you said. Or if you can't think of something funny, chalk it up to being tired or thinking about something else at the time. It's better to acknowledge that you made the faus pax and move on than ignore it and have them bring it up or worse, talk about it to others later.

If it's something that happened earlier and you realise you said or did something stupid well after the event, you should only acknowledge it if it's a large faus pax. If it's something small it's probably best to ignore it and let it be forgotten about, rather than dwelling on something that probably isn't that significant in the scheme of things.

Last edited by Enigmatic_Oddity on 08 Jun 2013, 7:56 am, edited 1 time in total.

It depends if anyone noticed or reacted badly

If I realised it myself I'd point it out and correct it, making a joke of it

Most people say silly/stupid things at some point so it's no big deal really

You should expect to make errors in life, not be frightened of them as that's how you learn

I also tend to try and make humour of it. I'll repeat it back like I've surprised myself and say something like "What was I thinking?" or "I've lost the plot" or something along those lines.

If you can make humour out of silly situations like this then other people are less likely to call attention to it and brush it off.

generally "i'm sorry I called you XXXXX" or "Sorry I didn't mean it that way" apologies solve everything

I stop talking . . . if I've said something stupid than the chances of me saying something even more stupid are increased.

This. My attempts at humor frequently fail. Apologizing and explaining, for me, frequently make it worse. I have heard recommendations to actors that when they make mistake with their lines/acting to just keep going. I tend to do that.

If you are good at humor, I think that is a really good way to go.

    This is easy. By far the best thing to do is ... blush.
    People are 74% (I just made that # up) more likely to immediately forgive and forget when someone blushes.

    I don't know what the real number % is but I read that somewhere. It is significantly large.
    If you're blushing and stumble out some explanation/apology you can know you're in the clear.
    Everybody has blushed, everybody has hated it, even ASD's can easily empathize and will feel such discomfort they'll forgive you just to not think about blushes.

    If you can't blush on command then the advice given above me is very good.
    Sometimes others will poke fun at you -'probably usually' in an attempt to demonstrate it's 'no big deal' or that they're forgiving you and they're trying to rebond.

I'd joke about it if it wasn't a serious topic and if it was serious topic I'd apologize if I had offended anyone unless it was my intent.

Last edited by Sheerboredom on 08 Jun 2013, 10:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

i'd say sorry but that didn't come out right, and then i'd try it once more and if it still was warped i'd say i'd better just keep silent from now on.

What? I thought everyone who blushes (except for flirting girls) thought of it as a problem, not something you wanna do?! Nor did I know anyone was capable of doing it on demand.

the only thing that makes my cheeks redden is exhaustion and reaction to the sun.

I Googled it and found this:
http://bodyodd.nbcnews.com/_news/2011/0 ... gests?lite

I've always thought of people who blush as a bit hopeless TBH (no offense intended). They appear childish and insecure to me. And targets for laughter lol.



I tend to mess up my speech with spoonerisms when I'm not paying attention to what I'm saying, or if my mind is way ahead of my mouth. More often than not I won't even notice until someone starts laughing at it. If the latter cause is the reason, that'll just annoy me because I then lose my train of thoughts.

In discussions I find it a huge waste of time when people react to that. For instance, I was once participating at the Green Party stand before an election, and a woman stopped and by and started talking about an issue I care deeply about, animal welfare. Hens in small cages came up and she meant to say that it was annoying that eggs from free-range hens were more expensive than eggs from caged hens. What she actually said was that free-range eggs were more expensive. Then she started the "oh, how silly I am" routine and the NT "let's poke fun at me for saying that" dance. Apparently people like it when people do this. I just feel uncomfortable when they do it. I just want them to stop.
When in a discussion I find it annoying too because it derails the interesting stuff, like here welfare of animals. In that discussion I quickly intervened (it was just her and me there) and went on talking about the issue rather than the words she used, and I declared agreement that people shouldn't be punished economically for doing the right thing.

That's how I tend to say stupid things, spoonerisms. Then I either get frustrated or annoyed that people can't pay attention to the issue at hand but instead do that apeish routine and dance ritual, or if I'm just distracted then I'm usually too distracted to notice or care.

I've suffered from this a lot, committing faux pas that were genuinely innocent but someone took it the wrong way. Most of my life I haven't managed to say anything, and I think that leaves the "recipient" feeling confirmed in the offense they're taking, and they go on believing I meant it the bad way it came out. I've lost friendships over the accumulative effects of that!

Despite the fact that I'm now in my middle-age, I've only now started to muster the art of saying right away: "Yikes, that didn't come out the way I meant it!!" or apologize and acknowledge I put something in a clumsy way. I've already started to find that it really, really does save the day sometimes. The person gets to know right away that you truly didn't intend the misunderstood meaning, and they get to walk away harboring no ill feeling or friendship-destroying thoughts like "Well the nerve" or "I'm really starting to dislike this jerk..." -- which is something I know for sure has been someone's impression of me and the reason why at least a couple of friendships I can think of have died.

Honesty is the best policy -- nip it in the bud and immediately point out your own goof and make it clear it was an Oops moment you never meant the way it sounded.

I agree, making a joke out of it is usually the best way to proceed. I made a handful of pretty serious faux-pas in the past, bu I was able to convince the people I was with that I was just screwing around with them so it turned out well in the end. But that said, I never want to be in that kind of situation again! lol.

It's always wise to say you're sorry for whatever it was that you said, and inform people that you didn't know that it was a very offensive or inappropriate thing to say. Promise them verbally that you will never say it again.

the only problem there is when your sleepy frontal lobes fail to pass on the message [or even be aware of anything wrong at the time] that you have committed a faux pas, until like a week later in the middle of the night when you bolt upright in bed and shout OH NO!! !

If humor isn't your thing, I agree with this ^.

If you've said something stupid and only realize it some time later, it's okay to say, "Hey, I realized what I said the other day sounded wrong. What I meant was X."

I think the worst thing to do is to pretend it didn't happen because then the other person is just left on their own to figure out what you meant.