Obsessed With Friends

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I've found myself excessively preoccupied lately. I have a friend who goes to a college (even during summer) about an hour away. It's not that far, but we don't see each other that much anymore because this friend is not nearby or when he is, he is spending time with family. This is perfectly understandable. Towards the end of last semester, I went up to the aforementioned college to spend time with this friend as well as a couple mutual friends.

These were perhaps some of the best moments of my college career. Not only did I get to spend time with this friend, and our secondary mutual friends, but I met new friends.

Now I have found myself preoccupied with trying to become closer to the original friend, some of our mutual friends and the new people. I have hung out with a some of them since then on a couple occasions. But I've become obsessed with growing closer to them. Even with I'm hanging out with other people, I think about it. I reach out to them on occassion, but usually they are busy. I also worry about contacting too many people right after the other in case they are near each other and may think I'm desperate to hang out (which I am, but I don't want them to know that). HELP.

You need to find some ways to occupy and distract yourself, including some that will give you the chance to meet new people.

- Exercise. It generates mood boosting endorphins.

- Read funny stories and watch funny shows. Humor also generates endorphins.

- Eat healthy, and enough of it. A healthier diet will boost your immune system and is also good for your mind. Skimping on amount of food leads to depression, crankiness, and being more prone to get sick.

- Get enough rest. Being tired leads to depression, crankiness, and being more prone to get sick, too.

- Listen to and/or play music. This is mood boosting.

- Take courses, either in person, or online. Some of the online ones are free. The in person ones are a good way to meet people.

- Volunteer. There are people worse off than we are, who would really appreciate the help. It's also a good way to meet people, and boost your self image and mood.

- Take up a hobby or join a club. These are good ways to meet people who share your interests.

- Get involved in community activities. Attend town meetings, events at local libraries and other local organizations. Attend local sporting events, fairs, and art shows. Attend and/or participate in local theater groups. These are all great ways to meet people and boost your self image and mood.

- Employment/or self employment. Great way to meet people, boost self image, put money in your wallet, gain experience. Since you have been having trouble finding work as an employee, perhaps you should consider self employment. There are many types to choose from.

Good suggestions. Keep them coming. But keep in mind, that I still obsess when I'm doing other things including hanging out with other people. But who knows, I'm open to suggestions.

I also get obsessed with people, but have learned to conquer it somewhat. The trick is to immediately react to thoughts you have of the person in a logical way. When you are obsessed with the person, you may find yourself becoming very happy and elated, and your mind will begin racing. The trick is to recognise when you are like this, and as soon as you do, kick in the left brained, logical side of yourself. Some ways you can do this is by counting to ten in your head and back again while picturing the numbers, thinking of a series of things you enjoy (for me, it was reciting the stations on the subway system), or simply picturing your thought as a cloud in the sky that will drift away and be replaced with other thoughts.

As well, look for things in your environment that could trigger your thoughts about the person, and then deal with these immediately as they come. You may find yourself, for example, reminded of the person randomly through hearing music they like. Picturing a big red stop sign and immediately thinking of something else is a good way to deal with it, or by switching to other music. It's all about recognising the obsession and dealing with it as soon as you do.

You could also try getting your thoughts down about the person by writing about them. I carry a notebook everywhere, and before I successfully conquered my last person obsession, all of the content of these notebooks were about him. I focused my obsession into this book before I began interacting with people, so that I wasn't preoccupied with the person at hand and able to spend time with my friends.

Hopefully these are helpful to you.