Social Anxiety and Social Exhaustion

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Hi there. Well, I have pretty bad social anxiety, and I've been trying to overcome it by socializing more. The problem is that I find it extremely exhausting. I think the social drain is what is causing my anxiety. The fear of exhaustion is holding me back... I can just get so overwhelmed so quickly and suddenly, and then I have to stay home and curl up for a couple of days. It's so hard to find a balance. This problem is also hindering me in making new friends and I am lonely because I don't have a close confidante anymore. My closest friends moved away and other people aren't the same.

Does anyone have advice for me?

It gets easier if you keep plugging away at it. Even just one alcoholic drink seems to do a lot to take the edge off of my social anxiety and make socializing less exhausting, be careful not to overdo it as far as that goes. Take your downtime when you need it, you'll need it less if you keep socializing regularly but I think you'll always need some. My downtime is usually me playing single player video games, reading, watching movies by myself or just pacing with my thoughts. I was interested in a woman, but she wasn't interested in me, I was persistent though and never threatening. After a while I grew on her and we became best friends and all her friends became my friends too after a while.

Yeah. That's good advice to be persistent but not threatening with someone you want to be friends with. I guess it really boils down to self-care... I should spend more time focusing on figuring out my limits. I should definitely socialize regularly - perhaps make up a social schedule, and designate fixed periods of time for socializing.

I used to have a major problem with alcohol (getting wasted beyond recognition to overcome social anxiety up to 5 times a week) so I avoid it completely now - that might be part of my problem too, that in the past for me, socializing was greatly facilitated by drinking and other forms of substance abuse... so now I'm adjusting. Or something.

Thanks for the advice... sometimes you need an outside look in order to feel okay.

getting wasted is not required, where Mack said '1 drink', he was right, all i myself need is the initial one to overcome my 'social inertia', once the alcohol wears off, i'm in 'the zone' and able to continue without anymore liquid stimulation.

another thing that is important though is to have a temporary and permanent way out; make sure it is accepted that you leave the situation for 5 minutes to cool off every once in a while, and have a way to just leave permanently, going home. that is: take your own car, know the bus schedule or go by bike, but dont carpool unless you have a very good friend willing to leave with you, before the actual gathering ends.

i have found that to be a great reduction in anxiety; knowing i can leave whenever i want to. if the gathering is far away so i need to carpool or might get stuck becouse the public transportation ended for the day really feels as if i'm locked in in the situation, adding great anxiety.