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NeXus_Blueliner
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21 Jun 2012, 5:59 pm

Does anyone else have trouble with accepting their special friend has other people who want to spend time with them? I can understand enough that they need other people but I just can't get past it actually happening. I'd love to be around my friend every second of every day if it was possible and not let go of her. It would drive her mad eventually but I'd love to be like that. Just constantly find that my friend is growing up at a quicker rate than me and she has so many other people. I just wish I could have her around more :(

I've noticed it isn't just with her, it's happened with other friends of mine but on a smaller scale. It's almost like the other people talking to them/being around them, are invading your space. I don't like that at all. It makes me go quiet.

I think this turned into a rant. Just curious if anyone else gets like it.


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redrobin62
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21 Jun 2012, 6:50 pm

I had a serious problem with this very issue years ago. It's a sign of insecurity, and believe me, it can destroy relationships. Letting go or sharing is extremely difficult, and I think this is especially true for us aspies. The person we're attached to is actually our special interest, and when that special interest gets interrupted or stopped, we see red. I know I did.



poppyfields
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21 Jun 2012, 7:56 pm

Definitely. I think it is part AS behavior, and part just the fact that when you have barely any friends you tend to hold on harder to what you do have.



anneurysm
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21 Jun 2012, 11:46 pm

^ Definitely agreed. As well, they tend to meet people more easily and often have wider social circles, making you even more jealous of them.

I'm very insecure with my friendships, and although I'm not clingy or demanding, I get jealous at times of people who are closer to people I want to get to know...or "steal" a friend that I've been close with in the past and become better friends with them.

I have a friend that I used to hang out with regularly and that I was very close with. Since a few years ago, she began spending all her time with this this other chick we both know, and became even closer with her. Although she and her friend invite me to their parties and other events, they usually spend most of their time with each other and I always feel like the third wheel. It sucks. :(


_________________
Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.

This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term therapists - that I am an anxious and highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder.

My diagnoses - social anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.