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RedMage
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15 Nov 2006, 11:34 pm

I need friends, but no one in real life will go near me... What's worse is, I no longer go to school so I can't make friends. Does anyone have any ideas how I can make friends in real life? I can't live alone like this any longer...

I have a few online friends, but not many because I scare them away. :cry:



alex
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15 Nov 2006, 11:42 pm

RedMage wrote:
I have a few online friends, but not many because I scare them away. :cry:


I suggest you work on learning social skills. I also used to annoy people when I tried to become friends with 'em. But there are things you can learn that will allow you to make friends more easily. First of all, don't come off as desparate. For instance, asking someone if they'll be your friend is not a good way to make one as it does the opposite of what you intend it to do. Also, complaining about things makes other people not want to talk with you, not because of anything wrong with you but because people don't like to hear an acquaintance complain for an extended period of time.

Anyway, good luck with everything. Keep reading the forums for more social advice. Check out the Dear Aspie articles and the "Secrets to Successful..." articles on wrong planet as they have great tips for makin friends.


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RedMage
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15 Nov 2006, 11:47 pm

Mhm... People obviously can't stand me or something. Only a few people can talk to me online, because I scare them away by complaining. I can't help complaining though. :(



alex
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15 Nov 2006, 11:53 pm

RedMage wrote:
Mhm... People obviously can't stand me or something. Only a few people can talk to me online, because I scare them away by complaining. I can't help complaining though. :(


you can help whatever you want to help. just don't complain. simple as that. when you feel the urge to complain, complain to yourself. add yourself to your buddy list and send yourself IMs complaining instead of to the people you talk w/ online.


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RedMage
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15 Nov 2006, 11:55 pm

Er, good ideas...



RTSgamerFTW
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16 Nov 2006, 12:00 am

RedMage wrote:
I need friends, but no one in real life will go near me... What's worse is, I no longer go to school so I can't make friends. Does anyone have any ideas how I can make friends in real life? I can't live alone like this any longer...

I have a few online friends, but not many because I scare them away. :cry:


You don't scare me away.



RedMage
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16 Nov 2006, 12:06 am

Unknown wrote:
You don't scare me away.

Well that's good. :)



hale_bopp
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16 Nov 2006, 6:26 am

Online people are jerks - try not to take it personally when they treat you like that.



Tequila
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16 Nov 2006, 6:35 am

I tend not to make friends with people online if I can help it. I've met some quite deranged people through the Internet in the past.



larsenjw92286
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16 Nov 2006, 5:05 pm

I'm willing to be your friend if you'd like!

Tell me about yourself.


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bchris02
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16 Nov 2006, 7:18 pm

Online friends are not good because they don't really care about you. I learned this very painfully. They have their own lives and friends and you are just a bot they can turn on or off whenever they please. If you never logged on again, they wouldn't give a second thought to it.

Sadly, I am not fortunate enough to have a single friend in real life. People don't be my friend very often except maybe once every 2-3 years and when they do, I get too attached too quickly so it scares them away. I also come across as boring.



Xenon
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16 Nov 2006, 7:26 pm

bchris02 wrote:
Online friends are not good because they don't really care about you. I learned this very painfully. They have their own lives and friends and you are just a bot they can turn on or off whenever they please. If you never logged on again, they wouldn't give a second thought to it.


Not always. I was a regular on another forum, got sick of the political BS going on, so I stopped posting. After an absence of a few weeks, a handful of e-friends from that board started to track me down to see how I was doing.


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Stinkypuppy
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16 Nov 2006, 7:30 pm

bchris02 wrote:
Online friends are not good because they don't really care about you. I learned this very painfully. They have their own lives and friends and you are just a bot they can turn on or off whenever they please. If you never logged on again, they wouldn't give a second thought to it.

I tend to think that the Internet is a great way to meet new people, after all look at all the people all over the world who post here on WP. However, if the friendship never goes beyond online, then really there is a lot missing from the friendship. Online friendships can't quite replace real face-to-face relationships. This is not intended to suggest that online friendships are insignificant; on the contrary, we have to remember that there are real people sitting at the keyboards. However, there's only so much you or anybody else can do online, there's tons more out there in the real world remaining to explore. And you don't really know or understand an online friend until you meet him or her in person, face-to-face.

A lot of online friends are really just goodtime friends, so it's important to figure out whether your friendships will ever amount to anything significant. If the online friends never try to help you with your problems, or they never talk about anything of real importance, then that's a sign that the friendship won't end up being anything.



Stinkypuppy
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16 Nov 2006, 7:31 pm

RedMage,

If I may ask, what exactly do you complain to people about?



bchris02
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16 Nov 2006, 7:52 pm

Most people could care less about online friendships. Like stinkypuppy said, most of them are just good time friends. They see you as a bot, not a real person. I had a real good online friend for about 2 years. Although never diagnosed, he showed many symptoms of AS and had few friends in high school. We related well since we suffered from the same problems and had the same intrests. We talked of meeting a lot and stuff but never did because my strict parents wouldn't allow me to (because of the negative stigma surrounding online relationships due to shows like Dr. Phil and Oprah). When he went off to college he found his niche and got a "real" social life. That real social life meant he no longer needed me. After that, I barely existed to him. If you think about it, all online relationships are is last ditch efforts to find somebody. They will rarely, if ever stay true as a true friend in real life would.



Kahazidhea
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16 Nov 2006, 9:05 pm

RedMage wrote:
Unknown wrote:
You don't scare me away.

Well that's good. :)


You don't scare me away either, since I have issues that I'm dealing with myself. I have one true friend and many aquaintances, but I suffer from social awkwardness nonetheless. I wish I could say more to comfort you and tell you that you're not alone in suffering with these problems, but I don't think that it wouldn't be wise to broadcast my social problems on this forum to make you feel better because it only emberass me. Oh, and just out of curiosity, how old are you and why did you drop out of school at the expense of your education? I know that the last question is pretty abrupt, but having an education is important to get a job, look good, have knowledge, etc.