What advice would you give to a newly diagnosed Aspie?

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Cookiemobsta
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21 Jun 2012, 4:38 pm

I thought it might make sense for us to share some our our favorite social skills advice + resources. I know when I was first diagnosed it was a struggle for me to find good help, so maybe if we all pool our advice this thread can be a helpful resource for people who are just finding out about their diagnosis.

What's the best advice about social skills that you know, or where do you go to get good social skills advice?



WerewolfPoet
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21 Jun 2012, 5:12 pm

This is a great concept for a thread. :)

Although I am not prodigiously skilled in the art of socialization, I do have a few tidbits of advice:
[ADVISORY: THE FOLLOWING ADVICE IS NOT GIVEN BY A PROFESSIONAL. PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK]
Not everyone is as cruel as you may have been led to believe that they are. Be willing to give potential friends a chance.
When in doubt, choose kindness. This kindness doesn't have to be dishonest: simply find something to compliment, whether it be there clothing, their accessories, their physical appearance, their personality traits, their knowledge, their words, their acts of kindness, ect.
Do not be afraid to portray "the real you." A real personality is often more appealing and more interesting than an artificial persona.

I do hope that the little bit that I am able to offer will aide someone in the social arena.



thewhitrbbit
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21 Jun 2012, 7:35 pm

I was told not to use it a crutch.

That was the one advice I found very useful.



gs0
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21 Jun 2012, 8:48 pm

My advice? Develop your listening skills. Pay close attention to what others are saying, show interest (nod, say "yeah," ask open-ended questions) and memorise! Easier said than done, but if executed properly, people will feel like they can trust you and they will begin to confide in you. It's a great way to build close relationships with little effort on your part.



DiscardedWhisper
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27 Jun 2012, 7:16 am

Buy a dog.
Seriously, the dog will love you no matter what.
Humans will always find a reason to hate you.
The dog just wants to be fed and loved, and will reward you endlessly.

Before anyone chides, I'm being serious here. My dog has always been there for me and people have always backstabbed me, hurt me or abandoned me. Get a dog, it's the best option.



JanuaryMan
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27 Jun 2012, 7:35 am

My advice? Party! :afro:



thewhitrbbit
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27 Jun 2012, 8:42 am

Accept that you will often have to do things you won't like doing.



KittenKat
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01 Jul 2012, 6:17 pm

DiscardedWhisper wrote:
Buy a dog.
Seriously, the dog will love you no matter what.
Humans will always find a reason to hate you.
The dog just wants to be fed and loved, and will reward you endlessly.

Before anyone chides, I'm being serious here. My dog has always been there for me and people have always backstabbed me, hurt me or abandoned me. Get a dog, it's the best option.


Or a cat. My cats haven't always been there for me, but they have a lot of personality and are easier to interact with imo. I've also discovered that my cats are not the only interaction I need...I don't particularly want to be the crazy old cat lady. Maybe try volunteering somewhere, like a homeless shelter. People probably won't care if you're weird, just so long as you talk to them, and you're helping them as much as they're helping you.

~K


_________________
AS: 156/200. NT: 50/200.


Blixten
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03 Jul 2012, 6:50 pm

My first thought when reading the headline was: cash in and enjoy the money :)

My advice is to not overthink it. Not everything you do or have ever done is related to autism. Remember you have a personality apart from the autism. Don't use it as an excuse not to improve yourself or work on your issues. Accept that Aspergers or not, you are still responsible for everything you do. This all sounds really negative... But really, don't overthink it! As for social skills, accept all the help that is offered to you now that you've been diagnosed, it will improve your life. And keep in minds that if your weird, it's okay and you will find people who will like you not in spite of that fact, but because of it.

And again...cash in :D