Coming Off As "Creepy"

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I have a problem with speaking up/being shy, and sometimes I've been so quiet that people cannot hear me.

I was talking to some people(or trying to) and either they couldn't hear me, or I wasn't talking about the right things, for they completely ignored me. Attempts to further make conversation failed too, and I ended up looking like an idiot just standing around with my hands in my pockets near them.

I may have come off as "creepy," for I got some weird looks from a friend of the person I was attempting to talk to.

Any suggestions besides the obvious "speak up" to help me here? Has anyone else had similar experiences?

I hate my autism, and wish I never had it. But alas, I do have it.

I have a hard time speaking up, and often people don't hear what I said so they just say something generic that only proves to me that they didn't hear what I actually said and aren't interested enough to actually ask me to repeat it.

Maybe you could say something about how the noise in the area of the event is preventing you from hearing what is being said and see if the group could move to someplace nearby that would be a little quieter so the conversation could be enjoyed.

If I have to stay in a group of people who are talking and I am slowly drowning in anxiety, I just nod and smile and wait it out. Sorry to not be much help.

I know how you feel, I can't speak up, it just drains my energy away, I just get this big fear of neurotypicals and I don't know what to say because I can't relate to them, their things are not of my interest. When I speak, I think I'm speaking loud enough for them to hear me, but I do get surprised when they repeat themselves and I get weird looks from them. All I can say is just speak up a little louder even if you're blushing. That's what I've tried doing but it will always be a struggle, sorry if I didn't help much. I always attempt to be "normal"
I know it's a struggle we have to live with

I have a weak soft voice and always sound shy. No matter how hard I try, I can't not sound that way. Leaving phone messages is really awkward, I just can't do it.

Ironically, my problem is the exact opposite. I have no trouble speaking up or raising my tone of voice, but when I do, I get some form of cue pretty much telling me to shut up, which in turn leads to a silent reaction that everyone here is explaining, and then a label of "creepy". Seems unless my interests aligns with theirs or I build a conversation from the subject they started, I can't win, really

Yep. I'm aware I come across as weird and awkward to some people and annoyingly some people like to take advantage of it. Also the fact that I'm not an attractive person exacerbates it. I recall a moment in my senior year of high school a girl in my class called me "scary" not to my face though and was very reluctant to help me with an assignment.

kmc, your lack of self-confidence in your looks tells me that there is probably more going on than you realize. To try to make things easier in the real world, if you can find a group of people who have more similar interests to you to start with, that's important. It will be much easier to gain social skills with people you know that you can trust. If you can take a friend with you that you can trust to this kind of group beforehand, then they can give you a sense of what they feel possibly and can tell you why maybe.

Some people may think it weird if you just stick yourself in a group for no reason at all and you cannot find commonality because you cannot discuss what they are talking about. If the only reason you cannot communicate is because of background noise, then maybe write a note saying this and walk away from the situation if you can. Try to find something to do to preoccupy your own time if you can sense that you sticking around would otherwise give a creepy vibe. It sounds like there is more going on than a lot of us may realize for people to say that someone is creepy.

There comes another problem, though. See, I'm like KMC, and I always get told I'm creepy or creepy-looking. So then when I started trying to find people with similar interests, that never worked, since due to my Aspie mind, I was a lot deeper into these interests and any attempt to "low-ball" my talk about the interests (after being told that I get too deep into them) has met with failure.

Finding people with similar interests isn't really the problem here, I think. 'Cause it happens either way. I wish I knew what advice to give.

DialA, I agree with you. Finding people with similar interests has helped me zero. Even with other obsessive stray-cat lovers I've been ignored, dumped, avoided, etc. just like with everyone else and in spite of all I had to contribute.

Yeah, it really sucks. I have a huge interest in video games (I'm kind of a historian on them) and oddly, amusement park rides. The video game thing is bad enough, but I'm to the point where I can seriously name every game that, say, Capcom for example, has made from 1978 all the way up to now, without having to look it up. That type of thing. And I can describe the inner workings and mechanics of them too. Same with amusement rides. And that type of thing seems to really creep people out.

In conversing, one either puts themselves out there, makes eye contact, and speaks such that the other person can easily hear them, or they don't converse.

If you attempt to converse in a half hearted manner you fail to give people a reason to listen to you.

Shy individuals put themselves into a paradoxical situation. On one hand, they are often afraid of being negatively judged, and because of this, they attempt to make themselves unnoticed. However this behavior alone often draws negative attention and actually makes the shy individual stand out more than they would if they attempted to socialize in a more normative manner.

I suggest that you simply work on eye contact, greetings, and goodbyes, and physical group integration. That is to say, make eye contact and greet individuals with a smile, in a normal voice when entering a group situation. Stand within the perimeter of the group, not outside of it, and keep your eyes on the speakers. Give the impression you are paying attention. Before you depart, give a proper goodbye, by audibly saying "Well, you you later!" Or "Bye guys!" And giving a brief wave. Once you have master these basic things and feel more confident, you might then look for places in the conversation where you can contribute something in a contextual manner.

Can relate to this, unfortunately. When I speak, it has to include a part of what the other person just said, or else I seem excessively self-centered. I can't go off into a tangent at all, even a mini-tangent or get weird looks. I have to agree with everything people say, say very little, say nothing negative, and basically spit back what people already said in order to seem passable socially. Even that is not enough.