People just 'dropping by'

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Why do so many people seem to think there's nothing wrong with showing up unexpectedly at someone's house? How can that be anything but incredibly rude? It's as though NTs think other people are just like Sims, sitting in their houses staring at the wall and waiting for someone to visit. They invade your privacy, interrupt what you're doing, and then they think you're the rude one if you aren't able to pretend to be happy to see them.
I don't get how this can be so common and socially acceptable.

Probably because NTs don't mind surprises, so they think that when an old friend, out of their own volition, checks in to see how they are doing, it's a kind gesture. The visitor, in your hypothetical situation, would feel indignant because, well, here they go to visit a friend and say hello and all, and the visited is annoyed. That just makes them feel bad.

I have often wondered this myself. Why can't they just give a little warning call first, or a text message? Anything is better than that sudden doorbell sound when you do not expect anyone.

The "pop in" . . . it's very disruptive. I'm guarded about my private space and need warning if anyone is planning to invade. If someone drops by without warning I am usually too shocked and disoriented to be able to function on a social level.

I'm NT and hate it when people just drop by. Because of my dislike for this kind of "surprise" I have told my small circle of friends/acquaintances not to do it and asked that they should phone to arrange visits. Maybe that kind of arrangement could work for you?

one time:
the kid called me:
"do you mind if I come by?"
in my head: "yes. you're annoying."
what i said: "i guess so. just let me know when you're here"
"i'm already here. i'm standing outside your door."
o_o

Fascinating. This should be a poll. I kinda thought I was the only one who despised sudden company. I practically jump out of my skin when the doorbell rings because I'm thinking it's Jehovah's Witness or somebody found a dead cat out in the street and wonder if it's mine or a bill collector or some other harbinger of doom. Run away! Arrgghh!!

Long before I knew I was Autistic I knew I hated unexpected guest. I can't see how ANYONE could not. Its just plain rude!

All of my friends know I'm only into planned visits. I do know a few people that want to impose in spite of my wishes; I just don't answer the door. If they are rude enough to disregard my boundaries, I don't feel obligated to make exceptions.

Unexpected visits annoy me to no end. I wouldn't be as irritated if it was someone I haven't seen in a long time that didn't have my new phone number but anyone else I expect a call from. My parents were particularly bad about this when I first moved out on my own. The one incident that sticks in my head is when they wanted to show my house to friends from out of state. I was not home at the time and they did not have a key. So, they proceeded to crawl in the window to let themselves in! Then, they called me up to yell at me because my house was a mess! Needless to say, after that they were told that they were NEVER to come to my house without invitation or at least a heads up. It's no wonder I am so neurotic...

After 30+ years of living in clergy houses, and expected to open the door to anybody and everybody regardless of how either of us was feeling (we are both Aspie), we are now living in what is pretty well our idea of paradise.......

We live 1.5 miles from the nearest through road down a lane with no passing traffic except to a farm, the name of our hamlet is unpronounceable to an English speaker so they can't ask the way here, we have no road name, no number on the door, no doorbell, and four dogs. Our nearest neighbour is 100 yards away, speaks no English, and is never home. Nobody can find us unless we want them to, and nobody except the postman has business here unless we invite them. (The mailbox is on the roadside outside our gate.)

Do drop in - if you dare!!

I don't answer the door.

Most NT think it is great for "close friends" to drop in. Infact my mom gets extremely upset if she finds out that someone she considers close, came into the area but did not visit her.

If it's one of my best friends, I don't mind. It drives me insane if it's a person that I don't want in my life.

My sister always comes by unannounced to drop off my nephew. I can't even ignore her because my parents had to give her a key to the house. It really ruins my day whenever she comes around, and she only visits so she can have a free babysitter.

Wow, another 'why am I weird?' question answered.

I don't answer the door if I'm not expecting anyone. Also, I'm the only punctual person in my family and when someone comes to visit I try to lock them into a specific time-frame. Between 11 and 1pm is accurate enough for me, the problem is when they typically come at 11 and end up showing up at 3 or 4. I end up pacing around and spinning in circles unable to focus. This also applies to Fedex/UPS deliveries.