How to make good friends in ASpie group???
I have joined an Aspie group in town, whihc I am delighted with but i thought everyone would be as quiet as me. But some of them you would think were NTs. Some are so chatty and can actually carry on a normal conversation. Half of them you would not think had Asperger's
So now I am afraid I could still be the odd person, because some of the quiet ones are SOO quiet you would not noticed them at all So i am like in between. I can chat, but not that much, and can talk about boring stuff.
I need help, because the first day was really good, I thought I would have to come up to talk to people but loads of them came up to me to chat, and show me pictures on thier phones. I just don't want it to slowly turn into me being invisable again, even though these people are really nice, it's obvious they want the conversation from me too. And i want that too.
So please help?
I can help! (and by some chance are you in California?)
I also go to an Aspie group. Yours and Mine sound similar, and most are just sit around a room type things, so i'd love to know more about yours.
With groups like these (or at least mine) the idea is that everyone is friends. There is no judgement, and it's a safe place. A lot of people have gone frequently to the group, and even learned to hang out with members outside the group. It becomes comfortable, so they learn to feel relaxed around the people, and in the group. It even helps with learning social rules and stuff.
It's okay if at first you aren't very good at the conversation (see above) because everyone was like you at first. I think you should try to be interested as much as possible. if someone shows you a picture of their dog, say "Wow, what is his name?" or something like that. If you don't feel comfortable engaging people on their level, then don't. If you're there, you are sure to not be invisible.
Do they play games at your group? If so join a game, that's a great way to get to know people. People let themselves go during games.
I think I could have helped, but I am not sure. Did I?
If you have any more questions, I think I could help. I've worked really hard to figure out how people work, and I've been going to an aspie group for 5 years.
The isolationist in me would thin an aspie group would only have on member.
The cynic in me would wonder if half of those people were really aspies considering how happy they were socializing.
The pessimist in me would think they're probably not aspies, but if they can get attention from this aspie group, so be it.
The optimist in me would say, "Eh - go to the meeting anyway. You never know who you might meet."
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I also go to an Aspie group. Yours and Mine sound similar, and most are just sit around a room type things, so i'd love to know more about yours.
With groups like these (or at least mine) the idea is that everyone is friends. There is no judgement, and it's a safe place. A lot of people have gone frequently to the group, and even learned to hang out with members outside the group. It becomes comfortable, so they learn to feel relaxed around the people, and in the group. It even helps with learning social rules and stuff.
It's okay if at first you aren't very good at the conversation (see above) because everyone was like you at first. I think you should try to be interested as much as possible. if someone shows you a picture of their dog, say "Wow, what is his name?" or something like that. If you don't feel comfortable engaging people on their level, then don't. If you're there, you are sure to not be invisible.
Do they play games at your group? If so join a game, that's a great way to get to know people. People let themselves go during games.
I think I could have helped, but I am not sure. Did I?
If you have any more questions, I think I could help. I've worked really hard to figure out how people work, and I've been going to an aspie group for 5 years.
No I live in Ireland. We are WAY off so we are, haha.
But yeah, how did you make friends in your group, what did you talk to them about?
Different people may show up in the meeting from time to time. Just be yourself, but since you are in a group you can be more comfortable in your skin, feel more comfortable "risking" communicating with other people. Learn as much as you can in what may be a more safer environment for most of us. Even if they are self-diagnosed or different enough from you, it doesn't necessarily mean they don't care. If people come to you, great, otherwise try to talk with a small group of people you think you can start to feel comfortable with. If one group isn't working out after awhile, just quietly walk to another group of people. If the vibe you get from this group doesn't seem to be working for you, try to look for another social group then.
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