Friendships & Relationships

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Figured I'd use this board as a means to begin tackling one of my most frequently encountered problems.

I have 3 close friends that I've known since my early childhood. Each of them has gone their own separate ways, and now all of us are in college. Two of these friends have become way busier than they used to, and the third moved to California about 4 or 5 years ago. They've been the closest friends I've ever had, but I knew that one day life's stresses and daily activities would leave them with little to no time for me. Since those developments, I've tried very hard to make new friends, but they never last once I think and truly believe that I am their friend. Throughout the latter half of high school and still continuing into college I've been able to land myself in some group, but they all drift away after about a few months.

My relationships are even worse. I've been in at least 3 throughout high school, and my longest relationship (which also is my sourest memory) lasted a month. The other two were even shorter than that. I've learned about and accepted my mistakes in those relationships (even though the other parties may not have), but that doesn't necessarily mean that I know how to make girls look my way. I don't know what they look for in guys (seems like most of the girls I wanted to know ended up with jerk guys for boyfriends). I actually have hoped to meet with an AS girl at some point because I don't think I've met one before and I feel like we could get along easily, even if just as friends.

The strange part of all of this is that I'm very good at sweet-talking people and acting like I'm "normal", but no one seems to want to pursue so much as a friendship with me. I really just cannot figure out why that is. Any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

You need to look in the right places to find friends. Try these:

- Take courses, either in person, or online. Some of the online ones are free. The in person ones are a good way to meet people.

- Volunteer. There are people worse off than we are, who would really appreciate the help. It's also a good way to meet people, and boost your self image and mood.

- Take up a hobby or join a club. These are good ways to meet people who share your interests.

- Get involved in community activities. Attend town meetings, events at local libraries and other local organizations. Attend local sporting events, fairs, and art shows. Attend and/or participate in local theater groups. Attend events held at local houses of worship. These are all great ways to meet people and boost your self image and mood.

- If you don't have a job, try employment/or self employment. Great way to meet people, boost self image, put money in your wallet, gain experience. Perhaps you should consider self employment. There are many types to choose from.

>> Lawn mowing/yard work/gardening.
>> House cleaning.
>> Errand/shopping service.
>> Wait for service people, so the home owner/renter doesn't have to take time off from work.
>> House/pet sitting.
>> House chores for the elderly/disabled.
>> Handyman.
>> Tutor.
>> Computer maintenance/repair.
>> Website design.
>> Other website based businesses.
>> Paint houses indoor/outdoor.

There are many other self employment opportunities. Your local libraries will have books with lists and descriptions of them, so look into it.

Hope this helps.

Your best places to look for an AS girl are to look for an AS meeting you can go to, even if just once in awhile it may be worth the hours of travel for the effort, conferences, or Autreat (the only AS retreat I know of.) You are in the Northeast, and Autreat is in PA, so that helps. Only thing is, Autreat is only once a year, so now you have to wait almost another whole year.