What makes you uncomfortable around someone?

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Moondust
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28 Jul 2012, 10:19 am

I mean, people who do nothing wrong, aren't aggressive, hurtful, annoying, etc. yet give you such an uncomfortable feeling that you don't want to be around them and do whatever you can to avoid them.

To me, it's people whom I call "pathetic", i.e. people who seem totally clueless as to how to be found pleasant by others, and I can see they're trying so hard, but in all the wrong ways, and they look all hopeful. Or poor souls who have everything against them, bad luck, yet continue to give their all to get out of the mud, failing and falling at every step of the way and getting back up with an appeasing smile and doing it all (wrong) again.

(Maybe they remind me of myself and that's why they give me a stomach ache).


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Last edited by Moondust on 28 Jul 2012, 12:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

FalsettoTesla
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28 Jul 2012, 10:49 am

Those people are also difficult for me to be around.

Also people whose natural default talking style seems to be 'ALL THE HYPERBOLE FOREVER!', where everything is the worst/best/most beautiful/bitchiest thing ever to happen in the world ever. I find those people draining.



aspiemike
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28 Jul 2012, 11:05 am

The "me" monster likes to validate themselves by bragging about how they can outdo anything you can
"Yeah, well I bench press 300 lbs without problems." I can tell by looking at these people that they probably struggle with 150 lbs since they weigh 150 lbs at most.
"You can run 5 miles. Well, I can rule 6 miles."
"You went to school the day after your wisdom teeth came out. I was eating corn on the cob three hours later." Sorry, my experience tells me that would be too painful
"I have had sex with countless women." I have only had 3 different partners, and I don't talk about it. I also have no STD's to worry about it, I wonder if they do.



Pompei
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28 Jul 2012, 11:45 am

The most annoying people are the ones who cannot stop talking but who say nothing of value. They have some obscure need to speak and it matters not at all what they say. Words must blabber out of their mouths endlessly. They contradict themselves constantly and are oblivious to how obnoxious their chatter is to all around them. I get a headache just thinking about them.



Moondust
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28 Jul 2012, 12:02 pm

Pompei, I just edited to add "annoying" to the list of those I'm not referring to. Are there any kinds of people that you feel uncomfortable around, even though they're not annoying?


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MONKEY
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28 Jul 2012, 12:05 pm

The fact that they are there. :P


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DoctorYikes
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28 Jul 2012, 12:45 pm

I want to say "Unpredictable People", but let's be honest. My predictive skills stink, so that'd rule out the majority of humanity.

To specify a bit, let's go with loud and chaotic people. Heh, I have to temper my reactions at times when the wife and/or kids are watching something they find funny... They'll bust out a, "HAHAHAHAH!!" and just startle the crap out of me, and if I don't catch myself I can end up shooting over a Disapproving Glare like they just punched the cat in the face or some such.



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28 Jul 2012, 12:53 pm

DoctorYikes wrote:
I want to say "Unpredictable People", but let's be honest. My predictive skills stink, so that'd rule out the majority of humanity.

To specify a bit, let's go with loud and chaotic people. Heh, I have to temper my reactions at times when the wife and/or kids are watching something they find funny... They'll bust out a, "HAHAHAHAH!!" and just startle the crap out of me, and if I don't catch myself I can end up shooting over a Disapproving Glare like they just punched the cat in the face or some such.


Haha, yup - I do that a lot :D



Moondust
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28 Jul 2012, 12:59 pm

DoctorYikes wrote:
I want to say "Unpredictable People", but let's be honest. My predictive skills stink, so that'd rule out the majority of humanity.


:lmao: That's a fine piece of aspie humor!


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29 Jul 2012, 1:19 am

i feel uncomfortable around people who don't respond predictably, like say "bye" after you've said bye and who aren't all that friendly (but not aggressive, hurtful, annoying, etc). For example, a speaker in a small group who avoids eye-contact with specific group members. This isn't rude necessarily, as they may not be aware they are doing that, but sometimes i find the selective absence of eye-contact disconcerting. People who give defensive body language, like folding their arms - or are suddenly curt or unfriendly with their tone of voice unpredictably....enough to be intimidating but too subtle to be rude or aggressive. People who are generally inconsistent in their responses and are so austere that you can't expect a good send-off in parting....the type that just hangs up the phone instead of saying "goodbye". I also feel uncomfortable around people who are so reserved that they appear to have no sense of humor, or you can sense they respond unenthusiastically because they just don't like you. Perhaps this borders on hurtful, but sometimes the response is subtle enough that it is barely noticeable.



Ai_Ling
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29 Jul 2012, 2:16 am

Its hard to explain, I have SA too so theres ALOT of people that make me uncomfortable. I just have to learn to warm up to them which is often times very hard.



outofplace
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29 Jul 2012, 3:06 am

People who seem shifty or full of themselves. I can actually judge some of these situations fairly well and have figured some people out long before others did. Too much self-confidence is like a big, flashing red light to me as it tends to point to either narcissism or a criminal background. Likewise, anyone dressed in very expensive looking clothes or with a hair style that shows too much of an attention to detail is a red flag. I also observe a person's choice of verbiage to try and judge their background and level of education. Certain accents also tip me off, like New York or New Jersey accents. This is not to say I think all people from there are bad ( I come from that part of the US myself), it's just that a certain attitude, when mixed with that accent, makes me nervous. I also don't like people who talk with an excessive amount of urban slang. To me, it signifies someone who possibly grew up in a rough neighborhood and may have a criminal background. Most of the small time drug dealers I have known speak like that and their lives are chaos. Again, this puts me on alert and is not a final judgement of the person.

All in all, I have had to develop my own complex set of rules regarding situational awareness and other people. I was quite naive when I first started delivering pizza, but learning how to read people and situations has kept me safe over the years. I generally know when something "smells funny", and take appropriate actions to minimize my risk. After all, when you work in an area known for it's drug problems and your job is to walk up to a dark house in a poor neighborhood late at night, you tend to need to develop a greater sense of situational awareness than the common man. Plus, with two of my co-workers getting attacked and either beaten or shot in the last year, I have had to become even more vigilant when it comes to my safety.


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Siddhi
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29 Jul 2012, 6:45 am

People who make me uncomfortable:

1. people who smile too much.
2. people who cry easily
3. people who say they love me or are my best friend after meeting me 2-3 times.
4. people who say agree with everything i say.

On a side note:

people who do not seem to have anything smart to say irritate me, but then i have realised that is the way to go in the NT world. If i dont want that i cant be in their world.


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muslimmetalhead
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31 Jul 2012, 2:26 pm

Moondust wrote:
I mean, people who do nothing wrong, aren't aggressive, hurtful, annoying, etc. yet give you such an uncomfortable feeling that you don't want to be around them and do whatever you can to avoid them.

To me, it's people whom I call "pathetic", i.e. people who seem totally clueless as to how to be found pleasant by others, and I can see they're trying so hard, but in all the wrong ways, and they look all hopeful. Or poor souls who have everything against them, bad luck, yet continue to give their all to get out of the mud, failing and falling at every step of the way and getting back up with an appeasing smile and doing it all (wrong) again.


This.
(Maybe they remind me of myself and that's why they give me a stomach ache).



And this.


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Colinn
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31 Jul 2012, 9:57 pm

For me it depends. I'll make a list of things that make me feel awkward around other people

* Those who are ignorant and also arrogant. The two go hand in hand with people I've encountered.

* People who don't share my common interests

* Overbearing loud people who seem to battle to verbal death to get the first word in.

* Those that are unpredictable, I like structure. I even dislike surprise gifts.

* People that reply to me with limited input. It frustrates me and makes me wonder why I bothered talking to them.

There's plenty more things that annoy me about people. But those are the only ones I can think of that make me feel "awkward".



nrau
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31 Jul 2012, 10:09 pm

I'm uncomfortable around the people like you guys

that is, I'm uncomfortable around people who demand me to behave in a certain way and constantly judge every little thing I do