How do I explain to or get a friend to understand what life

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I only have one very close friend who I know loves me. I also know that I frustrate her to no end. Her husband used to be a friend. My friend and I are BFFs and love to spend time with one another and discuss things of consequence- no small talk- and used to do so regularly and fairly often. Husband became jealous of that and of our friendship. In order to "save" marriage friend has become more distant, excluded me from her home (where we would often meet, etc). It hurts, its confusing... she wants to understand my perspective but just doesn't seem to get it. The constant explaining and discussing wears us both down. I need something that is meant for an NT.

Hi, I'm not sure what you mean by this - you need an explanation meant for an NT, or a friend meant for an NT, or what exactly?

I NEED my friend to understand me. What can I give her or say to her to help her understand me- how i think- how I operate- why I can't let go of hurts etc

I can't loose yet another friend. This one tries so hard to "get" me- despite the pressure from her husband not to get me......

It's kind of hard to advise, when I don't know anyone who's involved. When it comes to things like this, it can be very different depending on the person. I think a good rule of thumb for Aspies is to try writing the message down. We can communicate better sometimes on paper than by speaking. The husband may think you are a very different person from who you are, and may be very ignorant of what Aspergers and Autism really are. Write it out, whatever you want to tell her, or him (two very different messages, I suppose), and then edit it carefully so it really puts the message across. The first thing we write isn't always comprehensible to other people, especially people whose minds work so differently from ours.

Thanks. I do write an awful lot of the time and love to do so. Sometimes though that is all that I seem to do to get a point across.... I will consider this advice. I have been composing a note to the husband in my head and need to get it down on paper. I was also going to show it to my BFF before ever giving it to him. I know the husband thinks I am a very different person from who I am.

I think you've a really good idea there. Watch out for being too intense. That could be what is putting him off, if he doesn't understand Aspies. Maybe even mention that fact. We aren't obsessed psychos, we're intense Aspies!

I am typing out my thoughts this evening. My friend will be eating supper in my home tomorrow night and I hope to share a very basic rough draft and discuss it with her. The situation with her husband has to stop. It is hurting us all, especially my friend/his wife. I can't continue to be treated in the fashion I have (scapegoat because his work life went south a few years ago and then started to affect his relationships, esteem, etc.) and he needs to move on as well.

Good luck, I hope it works out for you. Maybe she needs to bolster his confidence a bit more, it sounds like he's hurt and lashing out, and you're the nearest target. It's hard on you.