Backing away from social situations

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Unless it's part of my routine, I find I keep back away from social situations. I feel I can't be bothered, or that I just want to be indoors in my comfort zone and not have to worry about putting on an ''NT charade''. But then I feel guilty if I don't, because it then looks like I'm alienating myself when I have an opportunity to have fun and meet new people.

I think social anxiety plays a big role in this. Social situations bore me rigid because I am shy, so I just sit there and watch the world go by, and it's easy to say ''oh just smile'' or ''oh just join in'' or whatever, but it's not as simple as that when you're shy and they know it. I spend most of my life making a huge effort with people, but they can sense that I'm a very shy and unconfident person, so they don't bother to speak to me back anyway. Then I get accused of ''following'' or ''being clingy''. Ohh, you can't win! I didn't know there'd be so many precise rules with general social interaction! I mean, it's not like I'm at Buckingham Palace talking to the Queen or something!

So, to avoid the stress of all this, I'd sooner stay indoors and just chat to people online, and meet up with my own friends (whom I feel more comfortable with and accepted by) in the daytime where I only have comfortable levels of social expectations.

Can anyone relate?

i skipped my office party today....and i also skipped previous office party, office picnic and a movie outing organised by our office.
i just dont fit in there and why try to go out with people i work with....i will end up making a joke out of myself.
already they know i am reclusive, reserved and self absorbed....
its better to keep away from social scenario rather than getting ostracised and ignored.

Yep. I gave up on trying to have friends in my teens. Why try and socialize if I don't enjoy it or if people ignore me and if it's hard to keep up with the flow. I'd rather be with my own family or chat online or go to my autism groups. It's better to be with people you know and who accept you. Makes your life a lot easier.

That sort of thinking/behavior is what led me to become almost agoraphobic. For 2 years I only left the house if I absolutely needed to and even then I rushed and hurried what I had to do so I could run back to my hidey hole and feel comfortable again. Ive blown off job interviews, family parties and even a very good friends wedding because I was just too anxious to leave the house and have to deal with people.

Im trying to dig myself out of it now but its still very hard, trying to make friends is the worst, and im terrible at it. I either let them walk all over me for fear that if I complain theyll decide to just stop hanging around with me, or I get all over attached and get called clingy like you said, either way it usually ends badly for me . Ive been horribly shy all my life, every job Ive had ive always become known as "that quiet one" and Ive had friends decide Im not worth hanging around with anymore as Im so quiet and can never just let go and join in with the fun the same way everyone else can.

I can relate in a big way, just dont let it go as far as it did for me. Get out and about when you can and dont let the world get on top of you too much. Being a hermit IS NOT fun, I can attest to that.