Embarrassed to admit I have no friends

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I like being a loner but I don't like telling people that I have no friends because people make it out like someone with no friends must have something wrong with them. I do have a few friends I made in college and a good few old friends that I never saw again after moving house but I do my best to keep these people as distant as possible because I find that the better a friend you become with people the more solitude they will deprive you of. This is all childhood programming which still affects me despite the fact I theoretically don't give a crap what anyone thinks of me.

Like you Cnidocyte, I do not have any friends as well. For me, it is a trust issue. At one time in my life, I did have some really good friends. But then, some had moved away with family, and some I lost through my own words and actions. I will say that I am very much a loner, and most of the time, it suits me just perfectly. I spoke to my therapist about this a while back, and they said that just because I didn't have any friends, doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with me. I just choose to not really socialize with anyone because I am uncomfortable of being in social situations. I actually do have a lot to say on some things, but I just can't really stand small-talk. I don't really see the use to it.

I don't feel embarrassed about not having any friends, but I can understand why you or me or anyone else would feel embarrassed about Admitting that you (or me or anyone else) doesn't have friends. I guess it is the explanation that makes it embarrassing.

One last thing, I have found that I often don't give a crap about what anyone says or thinks about me either. But, words are quite powerful and I am realizing that I care a little about what others think.

Same with me. I have learned not to trust friends or family. Being alone is my peaceful "place" so that I can feel well, I guess un - threatened by the whole regular social thing that happens all the time in the world. I'm not troubled by being alone except when I need to make excuses to avoid social situations because not being completely honest seems wrong somehow. But now I know that complete honesty is actually really troublesome. Glad to share this and I don't want sympathy because it is pointless and puts me down.

I’m not embarrassed to admit it, I’m just frustrated with people who think I’m joking and expect me to answer questions like, “How can someone have NO friends?!”

I have trust issues. But I have friends I just NEVER see them! Only once in a while and I only have one that live close enough but I never see her because she`s unreliable, I have one that lives about 45 minutes to an hour away and I don`t see her that much, and one that lives 5 hours away so I never see him!

Man, this topic brings up some bad memories. Nothing makes finding friends harder in high school than having everyone know that you don't have any friends. Especially once they realized that I was uncomfortable with it, everything all went to heck real fast.

I am embarrassed to admit that I don't hang out with anyone. I.E. I have no life.

I do have friends online, and even IRL...but I rarely hang out with them because they aren't very close, or they are busy, or I am scared to ask. When I was younger, I would invite myself over to this one girls house that was my friend sometimes. I was constantly reprimanded for that. So maybe it's a little bit of stigma from that being afraid of stepping my bounds.

That's why I stayed in my math class during lunch....I was "getting help", which was true.....about half the time. But I was SO grateful for that teacher, because I hadn't sat with my other friends and it was awkward because they were in higher classes than me. People figure out if you have friends by lunch time and dances....that's why everyone was friendlier to me for one part of high school because I actually got the nerve to ask a guy to a dance.

I've never told anyone that I don't have any friends. Whatever their reaction could be, pity, amusement, whatever, I refuse to let people know, it's my problem and I don't like the idea of being judged by it.

A few years ago someone i knew took exception to something i said. He punched me. I had a moments flash where i imagined this guy feeling good from making me look small, then punched him back and knocked him out. I felt guilty (and still do) but the thought of the alternative makes it a guilty with knowing he deserved it. I refuse to let people see me as a victim.

Last edited by TechnoMonk on 24 Jul 2011, 2:20 am, edited 5 times in total.

I don't have friends either. I'd like some, but I don't know anyone I really identify with. So I tend not to bother.

well in school i never had friends...im very quite and reclusive
and usually cant make friends.
i have one college friend...she calls up once a blue moon and we talk for few minutes and hang up
after i moved house i lost touch with a friend
and now i cant make friends where i work...they are so different
i havent clicked with anyone yet

its so lonely out here.

I don't have any friends at the moment however i am looking for another friend but for me they just come and go.

Most of the time, I don't even think about my friendlessness. It's only on the rare occasion that I speak to someone who asks me about my social life that I become embarrassed about it. I find solitude more rewarding for me, though it would be nice to hang out with people who aren't just trying to make small talk.

I have plenty of acquaintances, but no friends

No one ever calls and checks on me....no one ever wants to do stuff with me.

I'm embarrassed to admit it...

I can make friends, but this ability seems to wax and wane, right now I have no friends and no way to make new friends. Having no friends does bother me, I'm too social a person to be without friends and I don't like people looking down upon me...plus too often in life people have taken a dislike to me without getting to know me at all, it's an insecure want of mine to prove to these people that people like me.

My boyfriend often argues that I do have friends, yet he fails to acknowledge that I've lost touch with all but two of them, and those two remaining I don't often see, in fact one I don't think is that great of a friend any more. I have no life, when I do get to go out few people show-up, so I have to ask my boyfriend to try to get his friends to come out with us and those who do turn-up question why so few other people are there, where my friends are...it's humiliating.

I have one friend I talk to by phone, usually when I am upset about something.
Apart from that, just my bf.
I honestly seem to have no desire to have friends these days, I prefer to spend what time I am not with bf, on my own, doing my own thing.
The time I did have a friend, I found it almost a chore to meet and talk and listen, and it tapered off. I just sort of lose interest, I am afraid to admit, and thus lose contact.
I don't seem to come to care about many people, not sure why. I connect to very few people in life, it seems.