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ardentauthor
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22 Aug 2012, 9:15 am

What do you do when people cry? It makes me so uncomfortable when people start to cry, but I don't know how to make them stop...



zxy8
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22 Aug 2012, 9:31 am

It would depend on the situation. Is this person a friend of mine? Do I know them? Or are they just a random?



CrystalStars
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22 Aug 2012, 9:46 am

Look around awkwardly wondering what to do.


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Colinn
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22 Aug 2012, 10:18 am

CrystalStars wrote:
Look around awkwardly wondering what to do.


Same for me as well, most of the time.



Aharon
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22 Aug 2012, 1:58 pm

ardentauthor wrote:
What do you do when people cry? It makes me so uncomfortable when people start to cry, but I don't know how to make them stop...



Say you're sorry they are hurting and ask if there's something you could do for them. I think what that might be depends on the individual.


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ardentauthor
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22 Aug 2012, 2:36 pm

zxy8 wrote:
It would depend on the situation. Is this person a friend of mine? Do I know them? Or are they just a random?


A friend...if it's a random person, usually they have a friend to comfort them. xD I hope I can be like that someday...



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22 Aug 2012, 4:02 pm

I've read a lot about this, but in teenage land, hugging someone automatically makes you gay. Sigh...



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22 Aug 2012, 5:32 pm

Most of the time they need consoling. Effectively you could "hold their hand" meaning you could guide them out of their unhappiness and help them feel better about themselves.


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zxy8
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22 Aug 2012, 5:42 pm

ardentauthor wrote:
zxy8 wrote:
It would depend on the situation. Is this person a friend of mine? Do I know them? Or are they just a random?


A friend...if it's a random person, usually they have a friend to comfort them. xD I hope I can be like that someday...


Well ask the person what is wrong, and go from there. Well, try your best :D



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22 Aug 2012, 9:14 pm

zxy8 wrote:
ardentauthor wrote:
zxy8 wrote:
It would depend on the situation. Is this person a friend of mine? Do I know them? Or are they just a random?


A friend...if it's a random person, usually they have a friend to comfort them. xD I hope I can be like that someday...


Well ask the person what is wrong, and go from there. Well, try your best :D


Yes and as someone else said you can ask if there's anything you can do for them. Also if you're in a home you can bring them Kleenex to blow their nose/dry their eyes and offer to make them tea or coffee as that can be comforting.



zxy8
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23 Aug 2012, 7:23 am

daydreamer84 wrote:
zxy8 wrote:
ardentauthor wrote:
zxy8 wrote:
It would depend on the situation. Is this person a friend of mine? Do I know them? Or are they just a random?


A friend...if it's a random person, usually they have a friend to comfort them. xD I hope I can be like that someday...


Well ask the person what is wrong, and go from there. Well, try your best :D


Yes and as someone else said you can ask if there's anything you can do for them. Also if you're in a home you can bring them Kleenex to blow their nose/dry their eyes and offer to make them tea or coffee as that can be comforting.


Yep. And sometimes they may not even feel like talking, but may like it that someone is there.



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23 Aug 2012, 8:33 am

After I had to unexpectedly had to deal with a crying person for the first time I made a mental list of actions... or maybe more of a flow chart.

1. Look to see if there is anybody more equipped to handle the situation. If yes, get them. If no, proceed to next step.
2. Ask them if they are alright. If they say yes, ask once more. If they say no, proceed to next step. If they insist, acknowledge, tell them you were just concerned, then sit there a little less awkwardly.
3. Try the 'there, there' approach with a hand on the shoulder and an unhappy smile.
4. Ask if they want to talk, or if you can do anything. If they say say, proceed as necessary, via next step. If no, proceed to next step.
5. Attempt a comforting hug. If received well, continue for as long as necessary. If received poorly, continue for standard 3 seconds then proceed to next step.
6. Ask if they want you to stay. Act accordingly.
7. You did the best you could, don't beat yourself up.

I don't know why I used gender non-specific pronouns - it's always females that are found crying. This has helped on the few occasions where one of my peer group has been crying and I was physically the closest person to her.



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27 Aug 2012, 9:41 pm

when its a friend i put my arm around them n tell em its okay. when its my mother im totally clueless I have no idea what to do!!



chris5000
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27 Aug 2012, 11:28 pm

CrystalStars wrote:
Look around awkwardly wondering what to do.



izzeme
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28 Aug 2012, 3:37 am

if it's a friend, i will sit close to them, looking in their direction to indicate i'm willing to listen to the problem, if they want to talk about it; from there, i dont really know either, but i think that the above signal is strongly comforting, since it seems to help



Mariannelux
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28 Aug 2012, 5:49 pm

izzeme wrote:
if it's a friend, i will sit close to them, looking in their direction to indicate i'm willing to listen to the problem, if they want to talk about it; from there, i dont really know either, but i think that the above signal is strongly comforting, since it seems to help


if its a person who im close to, i will start crying probably from empathy and hug them. or listen to them.

but i hate crying... i cried so much in my life.


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