So annoyed at every little thing

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I am so hypersensative to making the smallest social mistakes and smallest misinterpretations, I can hit myself over the head for. Its really annoying and I feel very guilty for absolutely nothing. Sometimes I have the conscious from hell. But on the other hand, I get annoyed from other people pointing out my social mistakes because its more to be ashamed of. Thanks NT world for driving me haywire crazy. Im on meds which is not working as well as I'd like to, in controlling my massive guilt trips and obsessions. I need stronger!

Ok just ranting and Im at work right now.

I'm just like this.......I get mad at myself for making the mistakes but also mad at the people who point out the mistake or mad at society for another annoying social convention that I violated. I also take meds for anxiety........and I still have this problem.

I too get annoyed with myself, especially when social quirks are pointed out to me right to my face, as though people think it's all right to humiliate me. It happened at my other volunteer job once, where somebody yelled, ''I wasn't speaking to you!'' when I was trying to join in small talk (nothing private, just general small talk). At first I thought she was just mucking about, but then I realised she meant it. She went up to me and said, ''yeah, I had to say that, because you always look over people's shoulders, you do that a lot....'' and so on, and I felt like I was being humiliated. I then burst into tears, which got her guilty, which was what I wanted her to feel, because I knew that whatever she has a problem with doesn't make me a bad person, and because I can't stand up for myself, I thought crying might still make her feel how I wanted her to feel, instead of just meekly saying, ''Ok, sorry, it won't happen again.'' At least from then on she didn't actually humiliate me any more.

But I still felt angry with myself when I got home that day, because I thought of one of the men who I'm currently obsessed with (he's a bus-driver) and I thought, ''can't imagine him making the same ret*d social quirks once too many times and being told about it by his colleagues! Well, he might, but not this sort of thing! I hate myself, wish I was normal so I wouldn't have to put up with this s**t! I hate my stupid brain!''
I really meant it.

I feel this way a lot too. I often like to just shut out the NT's for a while when these feelings start to culminate in me being extremely depressed. I just Interact with them on "need to" basis. I Don't even attempt small talk or anything. If someone comes into the lunchroom at work when I'm having coffee, I just read my Iphone. I don't even look up. That way they can't start with the smalltalk...

I think it's a good way to re-energize when you're frustrated...Trust me, things on an Iphone can be far more illuminating than smalltalk with a casual acquaintance anyway.