Focus Change (Lexapro Lack of Caring)

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I have been on Lexapro for two months now, and everything that bothered me before, still bothers me now. But the way it bothers me is different. My goals have change. I will start college in the fall and my goal is to do my classwork, be happy, and get my degree in Spanish Linguistics. But my main goal is to do what it takes to be happy, as long as it's healthy. I learned what triggers my meltdowns and tend to avoid things like that.
before Lexapro my main focus was to get into college and get a gf as quick as I could so I can have an emotional relationship and sex. I was comparing myself to all the NTs around me who say "Human relationships are important, sex is healthy....I'm getting head from my gf tonight....I need to get married". I was also filling my head with garbage from the internet about how to change myself. I soon started watching stuff about Asperger people like Temple Grandin, and random autistic people from the internet and saw that I'm not alone and that they can do amazing things.
It seems the Lexapro has shifted my care away from social, and to more about things that make me happy. I have heard of other people, like NTs, getting on Lexapro and experiencing a feeling of emotional numbness or lack of caring about what they used to. I now fill my head with stuff that I am interested in, and stuff that makes me feel good, instead of stuff that makes me feel bad.

I am not going to make the mistake I made in high school where I was trying to be cool and get a gf on the first day and accepting advice from all these people. I am just going to go to school, go to my asperger groups, and go to my dorm. I'm excited ofr college because I will be studying abroad for a semester one year. So I feel I have a lot to look forward to, instead of feeling like I have to talk to every girl I see and try to make her like me. I dont know, i really stopped caring. When I tell my brothers friends about the college im going to they go "Oh so you're gonna try to get some white girls in your dorm!", and I just shrug my shoulders and go on. I dont even think about it. because I really dont care.

I feel that Lexapro has taken away my sex drive a bit and made me a bit asexual (although I still masturbate from time to time, but not excessively like I used to), and made me more focused on my obsessions and school. Before I started Lexapro I disliked girls, eventhough I was attracted to them. I still dislike women, call me sexist its your opinion, its just the stuff they do. But now my dislike is more positive because the sexual attraction is decreased, and almost not there. Now I am more focused on making myself happy and my studies, than trying to get a gf.

Also I see my oldest brother going through a late trying to be cool phase and he relates everything to money and women. He tells me that what I'm doing in college (linguistics) is good, but I should do computers to make money. He does things for the wrong reasons. It's like when you worry about women, everything is your life is indirectly controlled by them. I just shrug my shoulders when he talks about it. My older middle brother also says that our oldest brother worries about girls too much, and we're a bit worried about him.

But I'm glad that I'm over it. and I'm glad the Lexapro is working.

idk do u think it's the lexapro? is my state of mind a healthy state? or is it just a phase? and can a phase last two months?

I am glad you found an anti depressant/anxiety pill that is working! I was on that for a while -- it made me into an extrovert, haha.

I am pretty sure that's a side effect. But if you're not in a relationship, I suppose it wouldn't matter anyway.

Hey, as long as it's working, that's cool. Your current mindset will be way more helpful in college anyway. I mean, if you want to pursue a social life (not you personally,) there are way more avenues to go through (and girls to meet that may actually be worth dating,) and school will hopefully be more awesome. Unless you get a professor that is PURE EVIL No need to worry about trends or "fitting in" if your professor respects you. It's fantastico.

What other effects does Lexapro have on you? Do you feel better/less depressed? I'm considering going on an antidepressant, but haven't quite made up my mind yet. Anything I should know?

Well dt18, I'm glad you asked. Aspies arent like NTs who take this medicine, we dont get depressed for reason as many, but not all, NTS do. My counselor said she would wake up every morning crying and didnt know why and now she takes lexapro and it stopped. But that wasnt my problem, I knew why I was having meltdowns and hitting myself, and it was because of stuff people did to me and stuff that was going on such as me not having a gf, and rapid thoughts of stuff that upset me. Now I dont think about that stuff and if I do, I have coping skills to stop it. So I'd say the Lexapro has given better coping skills and makes me feel like all the stuff I worried about isnt really important.
I didn't just feel bad and get happy. I feel less depressed though to answer your question, but the reason I do is because the medicine makes me feel like the stuff I used to care about is complete and total bs. I dont feel like an extrovert or nothing, I just feel as sense of calmness and that everything is gonna be okay, and if I dont get a gf in college or ever, it doesnt change who I am.
But one thing, I am better at dealing with bullies with the medicine.

you can look up the side effects online

Interesting. That pretty much summarizes why I'm depressed. I want a girlfriend and I'm just trying to deal with the after effects of having a sh***y high school life.

Yea the Lexapro will take your libido down some causing you to not want a gf as much. It says you're 18, are u done with high school? When you are done, if you arent, it is such a relief. The Lexapro will help you to stop worrying, or should I say make you stop worrying. But you have to want to stop worrying as well. so the medicine does 55% of the job. \

My high school life was sh***y. Oh I mean sh***y. High school just ended a month ago, and Im glad. I was bullied by students and racist teachers. Girls didnt like me, and thought I was weird. Im a handsome guy but we all know that doesnt matter. Anyways worrying about that s**t is pointless.

Let me tell you something. The reason why you may worry is because you feel that you can pass certain limits if you tried hard enuff. Yes you can get a gf, but are you willing to put on a different act.
It takes what it takes to be successful at something. If you want a gf you may have to change your personality. I have chosen not to, and I end up with nothing for the time being. And those people who say "oh you just have to tweek your demeanor a bit to get a girl", no, you have to change your personality. Because I can guarantee you that's the reason you don't have a gf.
But if you love yourself and be who you are, it wont matter if you have a gf. And also set a different goal for yourself if getting a gf is one. Setting different goals help with this problem.

The key to feeling better about your problems is to know your limits, but don't limit yourself on what is important. You must know that you can't get a gf in high school, but don't limit yourself to other things just because you can't do this. You can get a gf but you are gonna have to change your personality, unless a girl likes you for who you are, and that may not happen now.
It's easier to have this mindset when you're leaving high school though, but take it from someone who has been through it. A aspie guy should never make a girl his focus. look at it like this, would you go into a career that requires lots of social interaction and changing your personality? No!. so you should not try to get a gf. just do what you like to do and your happiness will fall in place

Good luck. I'm pretty sure i was on Lexapro at one point. I can hear my Psychiatrist saying Lexpro in her accent in my head, so it was either recommended or I did use it. Okay, i just asked my mom, and she said i was and that i didn't think it did anything for me. I might have been on risperdal too at the time so I don't know.

I just hope you do well!

At this point, I could care less about the libido. I don't have sexual motivations for a relationship. I just want love. I just graduated high school, but have been in college for the last 2 semesters (full time this last semester) because of this program in which my school district paid for my classes. So basically, to sum up what you're saying, you don't think the autistic personality is fit for a relationship. Correct?

I think the autistic personality is fit for a relationship, but it's just that so many people are turned off by it, especially when they don;t know what it is. Therefore worrying about it does you no good, and the only thing you can do is change your personality to get a gf quicker, but if you want someone who will love you for the way you are then just stop worrying about it and when she shows up she'll show up, and if she never does, then nothing was ever meant to be.

That's all. and also, you not worrying about it is not going to get you a girlfriend, all it does is keep you sane and less worried. what gets you the girl that likes you is you running into her by chance, and her falling in love with you, nothing else. dont change who you are, dont worry about it, and when it happens it will happen, if it doesnt then accept it and live your life.

May be your mature beyond your years when you say gf is of no to little interest of yours . I often ask myself aspies who are on the chase the GF, friends etc if it's a legacy from the school years (peer pressure) this irrational pattern snowballs when a depressive/anxiety condition flairs up, this pattern can go on well in to adult hood...........

I can say from experience grow up, get your co morbid conditions dealt with and you realise these things are not so important any more (I can go either way BTW )

I've been on and off it for years. The worst situations/decisions i've made so far have been when i was off lexapro and the largest positive steps and most productive years i've had have been when i was taking lexapro. For me: Case closed.

It is worth every dollar because it helps you lead your life with logical decisions instead of irrational emotional ones, and the results are very real and generally positive.

The side effects are a small price to pay for the functionality and better logical rational it gives you. You WILL need those virtues to cope with harsh life events and tough situations. the overall lessening of anxiety and negative thoughts help an incredible lot. the hard part is going through the first week of taking it, you will get headaches and no positive effects until 1-2 weeks after you start. Once you are on it, your sexual drive does get reduced somewhat but otherwise there are no other notable side effects that I encountered and most importantly unlike other antidepressants it doesn't clog your mind.. on the contrary, you hear a lot of people starting new jobs and going to college on lexapro... that's because it unlocks your thoughts and you become more clear minded and logical with its almost vulcan -like effects. .