not sure what to really do or even think at this point.

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in 2006 i joined a street team online and right away after posting my first post on it about me and why i joined(like i was supposed to) i got a direct message(what we here on WP call a PM) from a lovely woman in the UK(im from the US) we hit it off right away and started to talk on aim(back then it was popular) and it got to the point we talked everyday and became really good friends. we helped eahother through a lot. we stayed really good friends and around 2008 when I realized I developed an innocent crush on her(i am a lesbian) and I didnt think anything of it. I was single at the time but didnt want to ruin the friendship plus she was straight(or so she said at the time) so i kept it to myself for a long time then she went through a lot of issues at home and stopped talking to me for about 6 months and I would try to reach her and she didnt reply after months of trying to reach her she finally got in contact with me after I sent a message to her bestfriend who I had talked to a few times before and I was just glad she was okay and I had a girlfriend at the time who i was with for about 6 months now and I finally decided to tell her I had a crush on her in the past before she disapeared out of my life and she didnt know what to think so I said sorry and I hope it wouldnt affect the friendship and she said ofcourse not.

We emailed and talked everyday skyping eachother as often as we could and became bestfriends again. To the point if several hours went by without one of us hearing from eachother we would contact the other one to make sure they were okay. By this point its around 2010 and I got myself a new girlfriend who was a bit jealous of how i talked to this woman all the time but she knew she was just my friend and she was accepting of it as long as I was honest with her about it and this is the girl that I am still with today. But I was hanging out with my girlfriend and her friends and I got an email from my friend saying she needed to tell me something important and im thinking that something happened to her or her son so I was getting a little worried but when she told me she told me that she finally was ready to come out of the closest and had to tell me that she was in love with me but knew we could never be together and still wanted to be good friends and i said that will not affect anything at all and it didnt for a while. then she got into a relationship with a woman and everything was great we were still great friends and everything then again one day she just stopped talking to me and didnt go on her twitter or nothing and finally i emailed her asking her why she doesnt want to be my friend anymore and she told me that she couldnt be just friends with me and i asked why and she said it hurt to much so i said i was sorry and i hope she would have a good life.

now its 2011 and she isnt in my life anymore at this point untill one day I accidently email everyone in my contacts including her a funny email and she responded and we started talking again my gf didnt like it because she didnt want me to get hurt again and i said neither do i but she has been the only friend who has stuck around for the most part and we talked and talked like nothing ever happened and then again one day nothing at all and i sent her a tweet to make sure she was okay and nothing she was ignoring me completely so here we are about a week ago i tweeted her because i needed answers and she answered a turns out she has iMessage now and was iMessaging me back and forth for awhile and now is slowing down. im not sure if i should let her in completely again or what. im at a loss i havent told my girlfriend yet because i dont want her to worry about me getting hurt again. please thoughts comments on this situation i am totally and completely at a loss here. if you actually read this whole thing thank you that means a lot that you actualy even cared to read this.

Losing friends does suck. I have had great online friends in the past who seemed to have understood me and accepted me and then they stop coming online. I did have one online boyfriend when I was 18 and we were very close. Then he stopped coming on and I thought nothing of it. Then I started to call his number and no answer. I kept calling it until I got an answer and it was some woman. I asked her if she was his mother and she said no. I never called that number again. Then finally weeks later he was back online posting and he sent me a PM. I asked him about his phone number and he said he cancelled it. He said he had been working his butt off and he cancelled his phone to save money. I asked him for what and he said his apartment. Then he started to ignore me after that and he claimed he is just too busy but yet he was able to be on the forum and post. So I stopped bothering with him and moved on. I decided to not have an online boyfriend ever again. I figured his life was more important than me so I decided to just move on and I vowed I won't do that to my friends ever online.


I honestly think having online relationships doesn't go so well. I almost went into one again with one of my online friends whom I had been friends with for eight years and he said "if you are willing to try it, we can" and then I decided all of a sudden I don't want a long distance relationship, we will never meet each other due to distance. I just didn't want to get into one and then replace him with a guy in real life. Sure there are people that have long distance and then they meet up and stay together. Doesn't work so well with me. Maybe if I were rich then yeah because I could go over there anytime and see them after requesting vacation time. Or maybe if that person were rich then yeah.

But I don't have to worry about this stuff anymore because I'm married.


But if you are worried about getting hurt again, I wouldn't go along with it. Just sounds like you are not important to her or else she would have given her imassege name or something.

It can be much easier for people on the spectrum to express themselves online and be more of their "true selves." When meeting in person, it can be disappointing to find that not only can you not express yourself with the ease you felt online, but the other person is not as easy for you to interpret either, so they also may not seem to be the "same person."

Like the other poster, I would caution you to pursue this, if you intend to meet your friend in person. Things are very different in person than they are online.

However, I think it's valuable that you made this connection, and whatever you decide to do with it, it should be a growing experience.