Need help saving a friendship

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So, me and my best friend are on the rocks. We both agree that we love each other, and care about each other. But she just doesn't think a friendship will work out. I got jealous over another guy, and I apologized and told her that I would change or do anything and it's not working. I wrote her a 5 page letter, and she said her feelings are still the same. I'm not sure what to do.. we've been friends for a year. I've never once cussed at her, or acted mean besides calling her out on ignoring me a few times. Does anyone have any advice, tips or tricks I can do, anything would help.

Why were you jealous over another guy? I figure it's because you either like her romantically or because you thought that she was spending too much time with him instead of with you. You can't expect her to stifle new or existing relationships just because you are jealous of the time she is spending with them and not with you.

If this is correct, the only thing you can really do is be her friend, but expect less contact if she is busy with her romance/friendship with this other guy. Lots of people tend to neglect others when they are in new relationships. That's just the way some people roll, I suppose.

If she's met someone new it could be that the new fella mightn't want her talking to other guys.

from my perspective, people on the spectrum get the short end of the stick because the world seems to operate based on exchange theory, which is to say that the less available you are to someone, the more that person will want to be with you. a good example is, i am more likely to attract friends if i have more than one friend. and the more friends i have, the more scarce of a resource i become and my value goes up.

this works in a one on one relationship because the theory states that the less interest you have in a person, the more interest they are likely to have in you. this puts those who obsess at a sincere disadvantage.

i am also toward the end of losing my best friend. i got to close to her and had wierd moments, that i suppose i now attribute more to AS than i did back then such as saying things at an inappropriate time (her mom was dying). anyway, she didnt talk to me for a month and when she finally sent me a message stating she had to think about the things in her life and if they belonged in her life or not, i told her that was "okay." and i told her that i was greiving her loss as a friend, but i was moving into the acceptance stage. what happened was, she said i definitely belonged in her life. i still havent begun my friendship with her again because im way confused about what the heck is going on, but looking at it from an exchange theory perspective, it makes sense to me that my response would draw her back toward me.

This is really interesting, thank you for posting it! I've lost a lot of friendships by being too intense or wanting to spend too much time with people, and am only now learning to (consciously) regulate the amount I contact people. Weirdly, I find playing Sims helps with this- you can 'practise' situation with people and feel like you're actually spending time with them without annoying them!

Thanks for the advice. I lost her as a friend, but she didn't (delete me, block me) shes still in my phone. We just aren't going to talk for now.. which really sucks.. anyone looking for a friend?