Page 1 of 1 [ 2 posts ] 

Semboja90
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 11 Oct 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 1

28 Nov 2012, 9:35 pm

A friend of mine at university (K.) and I had planned to meet someone around Xmas who supervises our research (we are at the postgraduate research level so this is acceptable mingling between supervisor professors and students), but my friend got back in touch with me on my suggestion (he hadn't signed into email for a while and replied face to face to me today) and he said he'd kind of fallen out with our supervisor (A.) after he wasn't that co-operative with an extension of a deadline for university work for K. and said he didn't really feel like meeting A. but he suggested I could ask A. to meet with me next week anyway.

However K. also said A. was reprimanded by his superiors in the department, so this kind of changed my opinion of A.

A confounding factor here is: I do quite like A. (romantically) and I was planning to get to know him better in this outing in December. However, I do fear it's wrong to perhaps still see him in any good light if he's been somewhat unpleasant to another friend of mine (incidentally A. has Asperger's like me and has spoken about it etc. so maybe his behaviour may have been something to do with his autistic traits- although I in no way advocate people with Asperger's constantly having inappropriate behaviour excused).

The problem is I have had some many rejections and messed-up situations with males since my teenage years (I've never had a proper boyfriend or any physical affection with someone (I was sexually abused in my childhood and have never had sex in a loving way as a mature adolescent/adult- sorry to be so graphic, I don't like sharing my rape history because I feel like some sort of wet blanket but I feel it was necessary to mention it here) so I'd rather go ahead with one male who is nice to me, even if it doesn't last because it could be one good experience. However sometimes I fear I fall in love with someone without judging them correctly and I should be aware if they are nice people or not and get the bad people out of my life.

What do you feel is the right decision here?



bigwheel
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 7 Nov 2012
Age: 76
Gender: Male
Posts: 239

28 Nov 2012, 10:01 pm

Wow..you have been through some heavy stuff. Hearty Congrats for surviving. I think there could be some over thinking on some of the current issues. Let your heart lead you. Think of if you would like to wake up beside them in the AM pumping out the old gross morning breath in your face. You will make the right decision. Pray about it. The Lord will treat you Right. If Jesus is the Head of your House all will be well with you and yours. I feel good feelings about this.