Invited to a New Year's Party...do I go?

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Brianruns10
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18 Dec 2012, 1:01 am

The subject says it all.

I know I should go. I know I shouldn't stay at home working or watching the Twilight Zone marathon.

Yet damn I'm scared. Scared that I'll be standing silent all night, because everyone seems to pair off and I just listen. Scared because it might all be couples, and I'll be the only single guy. Scared because I don't drink, and everyone else does and I'll be looked at weirdly for not conforming. Scared that I might look visible uncomfortable, or that my mask my slip and people see the real me...awkward, ill equipped at socializing, wholly beneath them.

Do I just make an excuse and stay home? Or is the promise of a good time, perhaps even, finally, meeting someone who might be my first girlfriend(!) worth the greater chance I'll make a fool of myself?



Kein_Mitleid
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18 Dec 2012, 1:35 am

Hell yes you go and you have yourself a good damn time!

This is an opportunity you gotta take. If you miss it, you will get less opportunities, but if you go, you will have more.



eric76
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18 Dec 2012, 6:50 am

We used to have a New Years Eve Party at the local church.

The main activity was playing 42.



thewhitrbbit
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18 Dec 2012, 10:23 am

Alcohol can do a lot to help with social anxiety.



Geekonychus
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18 Dec 2012, 11:41 am

Just have a good time and don't get hung up on "the mask." The thing you need to realize is that you aren't going to stand out more than anyone else at the party. Unless you're out of control (unlikely since you don't drink), you'll barely register with most people (especially once they start to get liquored up.)



Brianruns10
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18 Dec 2012, 12:57 pm

Man I just don't know. I looked at the list of people going, on the facebook event page...I swear, everyone is married, or has a FB pic with some good looking boyfriend or fiancee...

I just know I'll be the only single person there. Everyone else will pair off in twos or fours, and I'll be standing on the margins.

I suspect this is a pity invite. "Invite over Brian. You know he doesn't have anyone." Like it'll be their good deed or something. I mean, why WOULD they want me around, really?



anneurysm
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18 Dec 2012, 2:48 pm

Who invited you to this party? Whoever it is, stick with them at first and explain that you don't know a lot of people attending. Ask them to introduce you to people. Once you are introduced to a few people, it may end up being easier for you as you'll have people to talk to and at least something in common (a mutual friend/aquaintance). Often at parties, I'll ask "So where do you know J. from?" (J. being the person who introduced us) and from there they will bring up their school or workplace...and that's another topic you can talk about. :)


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Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.

This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term therapists - that I am an anxious and highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder.

My diagnoses - social anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.


Summer_Twilight
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18 Dec 2012, 3:51 pm

I understand you anxiety. At the same time, I would not fret about having a special someone to kiss at this party. For one thing, the reason you might be worried is because the culture seems to apply that pressure about when you are to date or get married. I agree the last poster here.

When I went to a brand new New Year's Party three years ago, a friend of mine did an honor to introduce me to some of his friends while I was there who I had not yet met.

You might ask your friends to do the same for you.



tcorrielus
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20 Dec 2012, 8:07 pm

If you really want to establish social friendships with people, then you should definitely go to the New Year's Party that you've been invited to (which is a great thing for you) and practice socially interacting with people there. You may not immediately get a best friend or a date at the party, but you should keep practicing and trying. Just take your time. Try to follow the advice posted by "anneurysm" and "Summer Twilight" on this thread.

BTW, I don't think anyone will care if you're single or married, or if you drink booze or not, because today nobody has a problem with me not drinking booze at all parties, bars or restaurants. :)



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20 Dec 2012, 10:51 pm

Go! Bring some soda to drink if that makes you more comfortable. Who knows, maybe one of those married couples will have a cute single friend?