how to make friends get a date the easy way

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Ok, on WP IRC a lot a lot of people seem to have difficulty making friends getting a date. I have no issues doing this and it's easy.

1: be yourself
2: talk about other peoples interests, be prepared to a: get board b: have lots of arguments, and yes believe it or not some of the people you have arguments with will really like and respect you.
3: join in other people conversations, if they get annoyed just move on to some other person group they where probably not worth making friends with in the first place. be prepared for a good few cockups and let downs before you get the hang of this
4: chat to shy people
5: talk about your feelings, how you feel about things
6: ask about other peoples feelings, how they feel about things
7: explain yourself, this can take some practice.
8: ask people to explain themselves if you don't understand something, people actually like explaining and talking about themselves.
9: find a shy person to chat to, chances are they have AS or something anyway and don't mind your awkwardness and you'll hit it off a treat esp if you follow my other tips.
10: women seem to reciprocate casual conversation more than men do, this is speaking as a man women may find that the opposite is true.
11: be brutally honest, that shouldn't be too hard for an autistic
12: be funny, the best way to practice this is to take the piss out of yourself a lot if need be.

I think that's it.

[Moved from General Autism to Love and Dating]

Nice post.
I think a lot of what you said makes sense too especially the parts about shy women.
I tend to be attracted to shy women, but haven't had much luck with them because I am shy as well and the conversation seems to go nowhere fast.
I am currently emailing a shy woman that I met on OkCupid. So far it's going well, but we haven't met IRL yet so we will see.
I suspect that she has AS herself based on what she has told me, but she is not dx

[Moved from L & D to Social Skills] (OP's request)

I should add (because I've seen what i would call bad advice, and I suppose other good advice)

Openers really don't matter, you can even be overtly rude and get away with it (with practice/lots of failures to start with).

Body language doesn't matter either. I know people with blunt affect (no emotional expressions on the face), clumsily 'idiots' (excruciating your clumsiness/being MORE yourself can help) and people who can't sit still for two second because of their ADHD with OCD issues on top who have lots of friends and have gotten dates in the past/currently have partners.

Some examples of openers.

Hi, (ask about them) how are you?
response
if they don't give you any leaders in the response ask about them again
(do you have any special interests, do you come here often etc....) even NT people will get the do you have and special interests.
if they say 'not really'
well you must be interested in something....
etc......
prepare to get a bit board as you talk about what there interested in, hell you may learn something.

I like your hair (will probably get a response)
I like you hair (say why), the colours amazing..... will get much more of an attachment

Your shy
(may get a funny look that comes across a bit rude at least overly personal)
I'm shy too
or
I used to be shy


How did you manage to get so fat?
PARDON!! !! !! !!
well I can eat whatever I like and never put on weight, I wish I could put on a bit of weight, I'm as skinny as hell.
or
I used to be fat, not as fat as you but a right fat b***tard, used to eat myself out of house and home
(the ones who still take offence and don't join in the horrifically bad joke in some way or other probably aren't worth the effort in the first place)

just as another couple of examples of how bad you can be and it doesn't matter.

I know someone who's opener is f**k off, and he still has friends get's dates
I know someone who's a shoplifting, heroin addict, who asks people if they are gay, has major ADHD and OCD and he still has quite a lot of friends THAT ARE NORMAL PEOPLE and gets dates. (god knows how)


The bad advice I remember seeing was on WP which was a video on dating.... it started to the effect of .
A girl smiles at you how should you respond.
Then said with a smile back, what kind of smile, not that kind of smile this kind of smile..... quite frankly if your trying to pull off some smile or facial emotion that is otherwise unnatural to you you going to have more issues than doing what is natural or nothing at all plus your going to be worrying about if you got that smile right.
The best thing to do is just say hello forget about body language, so long as you don't start touching her leg straight away of something because that's what you feel like.... though no doubt you'd be able to find more people who got away with that then tried to put on some unnatural fake smile.

The advise then went on something to the effect of....
take a look at what she's looking at on her phone
you notice she's watching a Woody Allen
"Hey I notice your watching a Woody Allen film"

that's just bloody creepy if you ask me.

probably better with Hey you have an Iphone I have an android, or hey you have an iphone I have an iphone.... then talk about apps or something.

Then it goes on....
I like Woody Allen films have you seen xyz (some guy just struck seriously lucky and happened to meet a girl you was watching a film that's one of his special interests, this happens to be a miracle chaps and chapesses)... what's more lightly is that your only going to have a little bit in common, which you have to work on to find out, but you meet someone who's personality gels with yours. You can always work on enjoying/building others interests at a later date.

She replies no I haven't seen that one.....
(so interested but not really that interested in them, still a topic of conversation so what happens next)

Guy says.
It just happens to be showing at xyz theatre this weekend are you free. (OMFG not only are they showing repeats of Woody Allen films when a girl you've just met and spied on just happens to be watching one on her phone, but you know which one and where and when it's showing, not only that but she hasn't seen it)
Then there's some phone number swapping and the date is arrange (fair enough)

Also cinemas/theatres make for really bad dates because you can't chat... unless you fancy trying your hand at the 'start touching her leg straight away' or variations of method.

This post is the total truth. One can only keep up a charade of normalcy for so long. Either the girl likes shy akward honest guys or she doesn't.

If she doesn't she's not worth your time or attention anyway........

I could post some stuff on manipulation but I'm not going to since I've had results, esp when it come to getting friends, without manipulation and when you have enough friends[women/men] the 'manipulation' kind of happens naturally in their heads... that is you naturally become more attractive and because you have enough friends the things you need to do to manipulate one person into 'loving' you instead of just liking you happen naturally. it can be a war of attrition at times though.