I have never had an NT friend

Post Reply New Topic

I have never really had any friends that were neurotypical. I wanted to though. They all seemed to have so much fun at school. I was behind in all my work and I constantly felt stressed. I also felt embarrassed for being in special ed. I also hated my speech impediment at school. Now I realize I have many good friends. They are all different like me and awesome.

I feel like I belong when I am with them. I have a friend who understands that I have communication challenges. They let me make decisions while also helping me say what I want. I listen to them talk and they say I am a good listener. I have another friend who takes me to church on Sundays when I want to go. I feel more confident when I realize I have good friends who know what Autism is like. I have friends who understand meltdowns and the need for routine. I just feel so happy. I feel bad for wanting to be popular and stuff. I love how they also understand stimming. I get stared at for rocking or flapping my hands or making sounds. They don't care. I belong better with Autistic people. I have never felt so confident

It's great that you have autistic friends -- and it's great that you know you are autistic.

I grew up in the days before autism was a known thing beyond the most extreme cases. I had no friends as a child and I had no idea why. All I knew was that I was a total freak, with lots and lots of miscellaneous quirks -- and with no idea that there would eventually be an officially recognized category that my particular set of quirks would fit into.

Luckily I eventually realized that the only way I was going to find friends was by seeking out fellow oddballs. To that end, I got involved in various oddball subcultures that revolved around unusual interests. And, in my mid-twenties, I did manage to make quite a few friends. Looking back on that time, I suspect that most of the friends I made back then were, if not autistic, at least neurodivergent in one way or another.

Alas the closest friends I made back then are no longer living, and others have drifted apart. I now hope to make a new set of friends in the local autistic community here in NYC.

I love your attitude of gratitude and it sounds like you have been learning to appreciate yourself and who you are. I believe that NT friends (real ones) come when they see that you appreciate yourself. That's when they seem interested in you. Check out Daniel Wendler's TedTalks which he talks about how he went through periods where he had no friends to times when he did. He said that you really need to find a friend who will ride with you no matter what.