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Describe the history of your social life.
A. Bad. No friends as a child, no friends now 15%  15%  [ 2 ]
B. Bell Curve: No friends as a child, better in my 20's, then a gradual regression to loneliness at some point. 31%  31%  [ 4 ]
C. Upwards: No friends as a child, better all the way till now. 8%  8%  [ 1 ]
D. Downwards: Friends as a child, no friends now 46%  46%  [ 6 ]
E. High: Friends all the way from childhood till now. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
F. Other (please explain) 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Total votes : 13

Tyri0n
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07 Dec 2012, 5:46 pm

What is the typical trajectory of a social life for an aspie? Do they usually improve as they get older, get worse, or is it a sort of bell curve where they peak at a certain point and then return to childhood loneliness?

Please do not answer the poll if you are significantly younger than 35 or at all under 30.

For those with a bell curve pattern, what do you think happened? What advice can you give those in their 20's?



redrobin62
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07 Dec 2012, 6:02 pm

Kinda hard to submit a vote considering what my life has been like all these years. I've been up, I've been down, then up, then down, then up, then down, then up then down. There were times when there were no friends and times when I had acquaintances. (Yeah, I know, they're not the same thing, but it's just for the sake of referencing to this poll). That's the funny thing about life. I can sit here writing this note, then go out tomorrow to pick up my meds from the pharmacy and, just like that, make a friend. Life happens in unexpected ways. Looking back, some of those bad times may have actually been good and some of those good times may have been bad. Suppose, for instance, you had strict folks who kept your from parties and hanging out. Yeah, this seems bad till you learn later on your potential hang out buddies died in a drunken car crash or ended up as homeless drug addicts. Consequently, you could fall in love with a beautiful girl and have great times together only to run into her deranged, psychotic ex-boyfriend years later.



Trencher93
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07 Dec 2012, 6:08 pm

Tyri0n wrote:
What is the typical trajectory of a social life for an aspie?


I'm not sure there is a typical anything about AS, but I've thought about this area a lot. When you're younger, you are forced into social situations, and others are forced into having you around, mainly because of compulsory education. After that, things change dramatically. I haven't fully articulated my theory, though. After school, you're sort of on your own, and you realize you haven't really been fitting in or making connections to other people, it was an illusion from the forced socialization.



2wheels4ever
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07 Dec 2012, 8:23 pm

Even in those times of forced socialization I tended to burn through classmates, it was rare that I had a "friendship" that lasted a month. The times I went to anyone's house are fewer than the fingers on 1 hand. In my 20s things were a bit easier but as it went in childhood so it went in adulthood that I gravitated and latched onto people in my immediate neighborhood and didn't venture out that far. I'd have to count my interest in forming a band as my main initiative in talking to anyone at all, if not for that I would have had to vote 'no friends then, no friends now'. I have a pretty good true-blue friend now though.

If I could give any useful advice it would be to develop an interest like music or anything else that doesn't have you holed up in a corner but rather puts you where people notice you and your talents, if possible. That and to incubate a sense of balance, so when you find yourself talking to people who your interest puts you together with, you'll be able to curb the monologuing to some degree and have varied topics to discuss to keep them interested. That alone probably killed my chances to establish any romantic situations before it dawned on me around the time I reached 30


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Cash__
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07 Dec 2012, 9:45 pm

Bell curve. I have no idea why?