So if a group of NT classmates are chit-chatting how to join

Page 1 of 1 [ 5 posts ] 

jonathandoors
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 5 Oct 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 199

09 Jan 2007, 3:32 pm

in on their conversation, diplomatically?



schleppenheimer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Aug 2006
Age: 64
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,584

09 Jan 2007, 4:20 pm

NT: I went to see the movie Eragon last night. It was really good.

a different NT: Yeah, I liked it.

a different NT: I thought it was kind of slow in the beginning.

Aspie: Yeah, it did start out kind of slow, but it really picked up after the first ten minutes.

NT: And then, when the guy jumped on the dragon . . .

The key is keeping your part of the conversation the same length as the rest of the people's conversation. If they are talking in one-sentence answers, then you talk in a one-sentence answer. Only submit information if you are asked your opinion. Then, for some odd reason, when you give your opinion, it's always kosher to ask the NT what their opinion is, i.e. "What did you think?"

Think of conversation as a sort of dance. If you are dancing with someone, you want to sort of mirror the size of their movements. You don't actually DO the same movements, but if your partner is moving in small amounts, then you don't want to do the big flamboyant leaps of a ballet dancer!



jonathandoors
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 5 Oct 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 199

09 Jan 2007, 5:16 pm

schleppenheimer wrote:
NT: I went to see the movie Eragon last night. It was really good.

a different NT: Yeah, I liked it.

a different NT: I thought it was kind of slow in the beginning.

Aspie: Yeah, it did start out kind of slow, but it really picked up after the first ten minutes.

NT: And then, when the guy jumped on the dragon . . .

The key is keeping your part of the conversation the same length as the rest of the people's conversation. If they are talking in one-sentence answers, then you talk in a one-sentence answer. Only submit information if you are asked your opinion. Then, for some odd reason, when you give your opinion, it's always kosher to ask the NT what their opinion is, i.e. "What did you think?"

Think of conversation as a sort of dance. If you are dancing with someone, you want to sort of mirror the size of their movements. You don't actually DO the same movements, but if your partner is moving in small amounts, then you don't want to do the big flamboyant leaps of a ballet dancer!


well thanks, though i personally haven't seen most movies like eragon



shadexiii
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Dec 2006
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,545

09 Jan 2007, 5:52 pm

jonathandoors wrote:
well thanks, though i personally haven't seen most movies like eragon


That's not a problem, that can be another way to "hop in." You could ask whether they thought it was worth the admission price, or something else about it. Even if you have no intention to see it, regardless of their answer, its a good way to get involved. And it isn't deceptive or anything, you never said you were going to base your decision on whether or not to see it on their answer.

schleppenheimer definitely covered it well though, always try to keep from going overboard when joining a conversation.

Also make sure you are sure what they're talking about. Trying to jump into a conversation based on a couple words has led to some pretty major embarrasment for me in the past. Nothing like thinking you have a clue, jumping in, and then being told off and then ignored as they go back to what they were talking about. (Not to mention it is apparently a pretty good way to make NTs think you're straight-up off your rocker.) By that point, the damage is done, I don't know if it would even be possible to try and re-join that conversation. May have to wait for another one to start up.



Space
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Apr 2006
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,082

09 Jan 2007, 6:41 pm

jonathandoors wrote:
in on their conversation, diplomatically?

I've always wondered this too. I usually just sit there and hope someone feels sorry for me and says hi :D