Is my co-worker bullying me?

Post Reply New Topic

My co-worker has a fascination with staring at me. He knows I get nervous and will sometimes smirk when he stares right at me and he does it all the time. Often I ask why he is staring at me and he says he is just 'looking at something next to me'. Sometimes he gives me weird looks because I can't help looking nervous when he stares at me.

I really hate it when he does it and I've let him know that but he doesn't give a damn and does it anyway.

Yup, he's bullying you and he's also a pretty damn good liar.

Are you a female?

No.

That does sound like a bully for sure.

1. He is constantly staring at you for no reason
2. He does it with a look of passion
3. You asked him to stop and he does not

I would document down on a daily basis about this behavior with the date and times and then when you have enough evidence, go to your human resources manager and express yourself about it.

If he is bullying me, I find it hard to tell the difference when someone is horsing around and actually bullying me. I've known that he stares at other people occasionally to get a reaction from them but he does it to me all the time.

Does anyone else have trouble telling the difference between someone horsing around with you and bullying you?

He sounds more like an ass than a bully. You say he knows you get nervous, but how does he know? Did you tell him? If you haven't asked him not to do it and then he continues doing it anyway, there is no actual wrongdoing here, although there is some assholery on his part.

I'd suggest coming up with some sort of defense. Next time he does it, stop what you are doing and stare directly back at him, in the eye with a cold expression on your face. Do not look away first. Do not answer him if he says anything. Just stare back. After he looks away, continue to stare for about ten seconds, then go back to what you were doing.

Alternatively you can keep looking at what you are doing when you know he's staring and prop your head on one arm while giving him the finger.

Another thing you can do is bring him a photograph of you, lay it on his desk and say "Since you like to freaking stare rudely at me here so much, I thought you might like this for your home viewing".

He's going to deny staring at you, so probably the first two type responses are the best. Do not go to Human Resources or your boss with a "Make him stop looking at me" type thing. It will only make you sound childish, when he's the one being childish.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com