I am fed up

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I had been involved in a singles group for a few years and even engaged in some of the activities. A few of my other friends had joined this group too. Although we tried to make connections there, the others in the group seem to snub us or lead us around.

None of them have really bothered to call us up on a regular basis and say, "Hey, let's do this or that." If they do, they usually end up backing out with an excuse and keep postponing on getting together. This is because they appear to be busy and yet everyone is more important.

One of my friends had attempted to get involved in the ministry himself by wanting to make friends with three of the people.

One girl added him on FB and then blocked him after he evidently had posted something on her wall that she did not like. Not once did she try to reason with him. Instead, she blocked him with no explanation.

The second girl made plans to go to his birthday party last night and then backed out at the last minute claiming that she did not feel up to it and said that she wants to get together with him before the months ends. While the weather was cold, her posting on his page seemed like an excuse. "I'm so sorry but...I don't feel like it. SORRY!" Again, everything else seemed more important.

After hearing from four of my friends about each of their bad experiences with the group, I have lost my interest in attending anymore events other than their annual New Year's Party since the guy who hosts it is very kind. So, I had decided to proceed to contact the people to run the singles ministry and let them know that some things have been bothering me.

I think that I have had a similiar feeling as what you are experiencing in this post. It is frustrating when you make an effort to meet new friends and over time you can see their relationships with others in the group solidifying but you remain somehow an outsider.

This happens to me because I started attending a new church with my family. The people seemed very kind and may be they are, but in six months I have not been contacted outside of church for any events, I just saw pictures and comments on Facebook about them and only two ladies have friended me on facebook (one of whom is genuinely nice and willing to spend time with me outside of church, at least on my birthday anyway).

It is confusing because they say that everyone is welcome and this and that, but when I wrote down my contact information as they requested everyone do, in order to find out more information about membership and then another time to offer help in adopting a family for presents (to help wrap them and shop for them etc), both times I heard nothing from any one about my interest in becoming a member or helping with the christmas gift giving project. It is not a huge group either, I think maximum 30 people have ever attended so I don't know how my card could have been lost in such a small number of persons to contact (not that everyone even turned them in I would imagine).

I wonder what I am doing wrong or what I am missing in their actual messages because I have no idea.

This group is extremely clicky. I know some NT people who could not connect with that group for the life of them. They said that they felt that group was really snooty. Now that I have spent time with them, I see it.

As for being on the spectrum, they seem to let in another guy with Asperger's Syndrome and even do things with him all the time. This is while the rest of us are snubbed and shut out most of the time.

One of my guy friends had been looking for a girl in that group but they all seem to turn him down. For instance, we went to a singles dance party last year and he asked a few girls to dance. They just said no. Then the same girl who broke her promise about going to my friend's birthday party last night had rudely dropped my friend's hands in the middle of one song and then went to dance with another friend of her's. I was pretty upset about that.

He said that he feels depressed because he feels our other friend gets favored over the rest of us.

Again, I am contacting the people who run this singles' ministry and mention that it seems to be a clicky social club and that I am tired of it.