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The_Postmaster
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12 Jan 2013, 12:27 am

Okay, so here's the story. I like this girl, and she knows this. She doesn't reciprocate, but she says we can be friends. We're conversing via text, and we get on the topic of Leonardo DiCaprio. She says Leonardo DiCaprio is her type of guy (she likes older guys). I say I'm surprised, she strikes me as the David Bowie type. She says "David Bowie!! Love him!!" I say, "Called it. Have you seen him in the movie Labyrinth?" She says, "I love that movie!! I own it".

At this point I texted my social guru to ask if it would be appropriate for me to suggest that we watch it sometime (I happen to love that movie, too). I have yet to get a response, so I went with my gut and said, "Called it again. It's a great movie. We should watch it sometime. In a purely friendly capacity, of course." I honestly have no idea whether saying this is socially appropriate, whether I said something wrong, or whether I'm just worrying over nothing.



unsortable
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12 Jan 2013, 12:42 am

I don't see anything inappropriate about your suggestion. It sounds completely straightforward and friendly to me. So long as you really mean what you say about the "purely friendly capacity", there shouldn't be a problem.



The_Postmaster
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12 Jan 2013, 12:49 am

unsortable wrote:
I don't see anything inappropriate about your suggestion. It sounds completely straightforward and friendly to me. So long as you really mean what you say about the "purely friendly capacity", there shouldn't be a problem.


I do mean it in the sense that my suggestion was that we- as friends- watch a movie. I don't like it, but I mean it. If that makes sense.



unsortable
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12 Jan 2013, 1:05 am

The_Postmaster wrote:
I do mean it in the sense that my suggestion was that we- as friends- watch a movie. I don't like it, but I mean it. If that makes sense.

I think I get it. You respect her wish to only be friends, even though you maybe would like more than that. If that's the case, I see no problem with your suggestion.



VAGraduateStudent
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12 Jan 2013, 3:00 pm

You shouldn't bring this specific thing up again. I think this is a "doth protest too much" situation. Because you said "purely friendly capacity" I think she's now questioning if it really IS just purely friendly or if it's more than that. Plus watching movies together is sort of a yawn and stretch routine if you know what I mean.

If you really do just want to be friends at this point, I'd just "no big deal" the whole thing and pretend you don't care about it. You guys can do something else together some other time.

Remember that NTs are not that literal, especially girls, so when you say something literal sometimes they look for the meaning "behind" what you say.



Stargazer43
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12 Jan 2013, 7:07 pm

VAGraduateStudent wrote:
You shouldn't bring this specific thing up again. I think this is a "doth protest too much" situation. Because you said "purely friendly capacity" I think she's now questioning if it really IS just purely friendly or if it's more than that. Plus watching movies together is sort of a yawn and stretch routine if you know what I mean..


I personally think that suggesting to watch the movie together is fine, but the line about it being in a purely friendly capacity I don't think you should have included. I think the above post explains pretty well why. However I think that two friends watching a movie together is perfectly fine, as long as you do it in an appropriate and comfortable setting (aka, don't snuggle up together on the couch or anything lol)