Encountering Aspies in real life
I live in a rather large city and I have attended university lectures in math, computer science and electronic engineering. There are some people who have some quirks and some who are bad at socializing; but I haven't noticed anyone who shows a behavior that seems specifically autistic to me. This is a bit surprising to me because – well, where else would you look for Aspies?
(When I consulted a university psychologist, she said that her last case of autism had been 5 years ago.)
I think there are two people I have met who have Asperger's. One was a classmate of mine in secondary school. He was easy to spot because he had a strange smile and he didn't socialize with anyone. I didn't have any real chance to get to know him because he had to leave a few weeks after I had joined that school due to psychological issues. The other people who had known him for a longer time also said he was "autistic".
The other one was on a long-term trip a science museum with me, where selected students from all over the country were invited. I noticed that instead of talking to other people, she hung around alone in the physics department – similarly to what I did. I don't have any real evidence that she was autistic, but I had this feeling that we were "from the same planet". Unfortunately, the trip ended one day after I had noticed that, and we didn't stay in contact.
Questions to you:
Do you know any other Aspies in real life? How many?
How did you get to know them?
Did you spot them at once? How?
Are you friends?
(Feel free to add other information that might be relevant.)
Yes, I do know some aspies IRL. But they're not many.
Time passed at mental health centres and places like that.
I didn't have to spot them. My mother (who knew them) only told me the various conditions the people in there had.
No.
_________________
Please write in a simple English; I'm Italian, so I might misunderstand the sense of your sentence.
You can talk me in Spanish and Italian, too.
Do you know any other Aspies in real life?
Yes.
Way, way over ten. I can't be bothered counting them all.
Through both school and my Autism support/social club.
I can just spot other people on the spectrum at once. I've never been wrong once.
Yes. Although I've encountered three with whom I didn't get along very well with, I'm either a friend or a friendly acquaintance to everyone else.
The people of my age on the spectrum I know are ALL so much nicer than any of the Neurotypicals I know. Yes, I do mean any of them, and yes, I speak from experience. If the truth offends you, it's your own goddamn problem.
_________________
Jane
Yes, ten that I can think of immediately.
-Three of them I know to be diagnosed.
-One of them is self identified as aspie.
-The other six seem clearly AS to me and some of those 6 may be diagnosed or self ID'd but I am not intimate enough with them to know.
-One is my cousin's son - diagnosed.
-Two, I met at church and they have become close friends of mine. They are father (self ID'd) and son (diagnosed).
-One is my upstairs condo neighbor. She is very clearly aspie to me and she and her family are aware that she suffers various mental gaps. They, however, are not aware of exactly what aspergers is.
-The other six are in my workplace.
-Two of those are "special needs adults" in social assistance programs and while I am not positive, I assume they are diagnosed.
-The other four, I simply believe to be on the spectrum (2 men, 2 women, all over 50 years old). I have only spoken to one of them about their struggles and he is undiagnosed and had only ever heard of AS once before; his sister told him she thinks he has it.
No. Although they all seemed at least a little bit unusual, early, as I was exposed to them, only one of them was immediately recognizable as on the spectrum (one of the special needs guys at work).
As for the other seven adults, their AS qualities became apparent over the course of many months or years. Since most of them are in my workplace I have consistent contact with them.
In the case of my cousin's son, when he was @ 4 years old, I knew. He was smart in his special interests, lectured adults (without pause), had monotone vocal qualities and frequent meltdowns.
Otherwise noticing aspie qualities over time is individual to the person but it includes;
-Meltdowns such as non-AS individuals would not have in the company of others.
-Monologs.
-Somewhat flat vocal inflection.
-Highly intelligent, but their verbal response is noticeably a beat slow.
-Toe walking.
-"All in their head" thinking; as if they have assigned a static label to someone or some situation; not taking into consideration (or noticing) any evolving information as it is revealed in real time.
-Does not respond to the questions asked in conversation. (Answers yes or no to; who, what, where, why questions.) Perhaps this is also because of "all in head thinking"; they are so in their head they are not able to hear and process what the other person is saying or asking.
-Lacks theory of mind. Doesn't accumulate or apply previous knowledge about what another person may know or understand. Example: Knowing what someone's field of expertise is, yet consistently giving basic instructions to that person in their field. (Aspie has interest in football and is instructing a professional football coach on some basic aspect of football, not grasping that the professional coach would necessarily know that.)
-Shows lack of, what seems to NTs, common sense.
-Awkward as to pause timing in conversation.
Please understand that no one I know has all of these and various individuals have varying levels of any qualities.
With one exception, yes. Some are friendly acquaintances who I like and some are close friends. (The exception is a woman at work who is abrasive, who's company I don't enjoy, but no big deal, not an enemy.)
There are probably another 10 or more folks, mostly in my workplace (or individuals I used to know) who I think might be on the spectrum but I don't have much direct contact with them and it doesn't matter anyway.
My immediate workplace has @ 150 people. Aspergers is not the only thing I notice here. I notice: drama queens, anger mismanagement, mood unpredictability, quiet stability, diligent workers, easily distracted (ADD), conspiracy theorists, princesses, shameless flirts, grumpy old men, wry humorists; the list goes on and on. (For the mist part, I enjoy being with these folks.)
I am NT.
Last edited by MountainLaurel on 29 Dec 2012, 5:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Do you attend any kind of school specialised on autism?
No, but there is a room at my school for vulnerable individuals to have lunch, make friends, etc.
I've met eight people at school who I know are on the spectrum and I suspect that someone else may be very mildly Autistic too.
_________________
Jane
VAGraduateStudent
Deinonychus
Joined: 13 Apr 2012
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 340
Location: Virginia, USA
How did you get to know them?
Did you spot them at once? How?
Are you friends?
(Feel free to add other information that might be relevant.)
*One blood-related family member, 2-3 non-blood related family members, too many friends to count, honestly, but I haven't kept up with all of them because aspies are pretty hard to keep in contact with unless you see them regularly. I'm starting to suspect one of my new roommates may be a "border" aspie, and I have some professors at my school who are undiagnosed aspies or border aspies.
*I met my aspie friends from sharing interests/sharing friends who shared interests. Aspies tend to like me because I have a very expressive face and I am "more capable than most NTs of aspie-level conversation." I'm not sure if that's a compliment.
* I can spot male aspies very well and I'm pretty good at spotting female aspies. Usually by lack of facial expression, fixed interests, toe walking, awkward arms when walking, sudden starts and stops during conversation, a sense that the other person is "tolerating" me when I'm speaking about something they're not interested in.
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