Why Others Have Friends?

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Why does everyone else I see have friends while my social life is nothing... it makes little sense, especially since they all go out cheating on eachother, fighting, and making one-another miserable. I have no sense for what this all means, but I'm tired of it...

PS I luV u!

I'm tired of it too but... well, I have come to suspect that it's just what they do.





(not all of them, and some more or less than others)

i accepted a long time ago that i probably won't have that many friends.. but yeah, i find it weird that friends talk behind each others back and crap.

People consider me boring. The sarcasm, backstabbing, teasing, fighting, etc you see among friends is entertainment to them. Without that, you are a boring friend. Thats why nobody wants to be around me.

I think part of the issue for many is a differing definition or understanding of the word friend. If someone uses it loosely and you don't, they will have more friends than you. They will not have the same kind of friends, and likely not as good of friends, from your perspective. To them, you have less friends, that's all they really see, it isn't as easy to see that someone's definition of friend is more strict or full as it is to see that it is less so.

Ugh...don't like how that came out, doesn't make as much sense as I'd like.

If you have close, meaningful friends that you trust, you will likely have less of them. Those that call mere aquaintances friends, those that don't expect as much out of their friends, and that don't feel as much of a duty to their friends, will often have more.

Quality versus quantity in some cases. If you're lacking in the friend department, unless you have "strict requirements" for someone if they are to be your friend, don't feel like you should force yourself to lower your standards. In my opinion 2 really close friends are better than 20 people you kind of know but don't necessarily trust. If you see all these people doing things that don't make sense (and I agree, they don't,) do you really want to be friends with any of them?

(Wow...that last paragraph was all I really needed in hindsight... Oh well, gonna leave it all anyways. )

I think that's right, shadexiii. I had a chat about this with a (nt) friend just this week.
It's not an easy thing being out of sync with what everyone else is doing.

I realized not long ago that alot of people think that I'm weird and creepy.And,I just gave up on my only 4 in-person friends in search of better ones.Hopefully,I will be successful and will learn things about me that turn others off so I can do something about that.


-SpaceCase

Hopefully you will be successful in making friends that don't demand that you change for the supposed privelage of them staying friends with you, or for treating you as a friends are supposed to treat each other.

Great question.

I would answer the question "Why do they have a social life and not I" with a simple answer:

To gain friends, one must have friends.

It sounds a bit odd, but this is what I have been noticing in high school. It is easier to bond over people rather than things. As well, people want to hang out with interesting people who are not percieved as a bore, and certainly one with few (or no) friends would be more likely percieved as a bore, etc...

(Of course this theory has one gaping flaw: if it takes friends to get friends, how do people start socially?)

As for the ideas concerning one's definition of a friend, I have arguments with my mon over this all the time. A couple weeks back, someone burned me a mix CD. For that reason and that reason alone, my mom thinks I have the responsibility to call her my friend.

But I look at it in a different perspective. We know each other through an extracurricular activity, and ergo, the relationship is by definition professional. If a term had to be put, acquaintance (or co-worker, if it were a work setting) would be more accurate and agreeing.

Ranting here, but nonetheless...

Why do people have friends? It's because, for the most part, human beings are social animals. Some of us here are probably exceptions to that rule... I'm not a social animal. Yet I do have friends. Not a lot of them, mind you... and I'm talking about offline here.

That's definitely true. If it weren't for a friend I had in the building, I would have less friends. He makes it his job to haul me out of my apartment. I'm not always appreciative of it, but oh well.