Anyone else never feel like socializing?

Post Reply New Topic

I’m a 26 year old male and I still live with my parents and am living off of a small disability pension for schizophrenia and what was described as “possible autism.” My parents keep suggesting that I go out and socialize and try to make friends with people but I don’t ever feel like talking to people. All throughout my school years I was picked on and bullied by a small group of kids for being awkward and strange. College wasn’t as bad, I wasn’t picked on anymore, I was just ignored which was fine by me.
But ever since I graduated from college going on 3 years ago I tried looking for a part-time job but I never was able to hold onto a job for more than a few months because of anxiety and paranoia issues. Ever since I got approved for the disability pension I’ve been staying in my bedroom playing video games and watching TV for hours at a time every day and I never once had the desire to socialize with anybody or make friends or go out on dates. Is anybody else who uses this site like this or am I especially weird?

For all the failures, sometimes it's just that much easier to do things by oneself. It's best to spend your time as you see fit and not do anything you don't think to be especially necessary.

Judging by the 2 weeks I've spent here, a lot of people on the spectrum also have it very rough. I'm not doing much better than you.

I'm like you. I was picked on relentlessly in HS and ignored in college, but it was much better there than HS. I suspect I was ignored mostly because I didn't really try to put myself out there or make myself approachable. It's give and take. I can't just stand around and expect people to talk to me out of the blue. But you see. I usually have nothing to talk about or most subjects that people generally start out with or would rather talk about I have no interest or knowledge in, so therefore I can't think of anything to say. I'd rather talk like "Do you like Assassin's Creed?" "I could not believe what happened on Supernatural the other night." or "Did you see that new tablet computer that so and so made? It looks amazing!" Or the subject is something controversial and I'd rather not argue, though in my head I do.

I also have internal dialog running in my head from time to time with imaginary people and that's if I even want to talk.

If nothing is on my mind I'm quiet unless you ask me questions. I might be sort of quiet and only answer questions with my therapist and the next appointment there's so much going on that I blurt it out all at once.

But the thing is most of the time I'd rather run that internal dialog than speak. I can speak and I will, unlike some autistics that can't speak sometimes. I would rather be quiet. This is kind of a problem for me. The worst part is that NTs want to talk about things I don't have interest or knowledge in, so I'm like "uh huh" or "ah" or "oh." And can't give any real feedback otherwise.

edit: I also am like this online unless a subject pops up that I can go on and on about. I talk to friends online, but can be quiet a good part of the time and I do want to talk to people. Even on subject oriented message boards that I'm interested in, I don't have much to say or something that hasn't been said already.

Darlian,

I feel the same way! I have a dialogue going on in my head with myself for 90% of my day. I'll usually sit quietly in any situation unless something is brought up that I know something about or have an interest in. Personally I haven't spoken a word to my roommate in about two months. I put on headphones every time I enter our apartment because I want to avoid small talk. I've also taken up residence at a second place because most days I just need a quiet space to retreat to at the end of the day and she is often, well in my mind, unreasonably loud but i know I cant control what she does so i just go someplace else.