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hvtitan08
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18 Jan 2013, 8:28 pm

I have a tough time getting along with my dad's sisters as well as my female cousins. At Christmastime in 2008, I was outside with three of my aunts, and I put my middle finger in the air, cursing them, saying "F**k you to all the female cousins." Then, days after the get-together, I emailed my dad's oldest sister, saying that his youngest sister dressed like a hooker. So, now, he's been going down to the Christmas parties by himself since 2010. In the recent past, I've called both my female cousins and my dad's sisters b*****s, sluts and whores.
I volunteered to go down with the family (my dad, ma, and my second oldest sister), to the 2012 Christmas party, but we were too late notified by my dad's fourth oldest sister when it was going to take place.
My former case manager from my local healthcare provider tried putting me at a day program in 2011 where there were women and men of different ages and disabilities, and it was a disaster. I went for my 4-week orientation, and then after my orientation, I only went two days, and then cancelled the transportation that was being provided by my insurance. I was having sexual feelings for the director of the day program. That was majorly the reason I left. A similar situation happened while I was in job training with my state's department of rehab services in 2009.
In 2009, I was working at Goodwill Industries of the Valleys in Salem, VA at Lakeside Plaza, and started having sexual feelings for my job coach in the beginning months of my training, so I was forced to quit.
I feel that it's just fruitless to ever go back to the Christmas get-togethers. But in a larger sense, I wish to have a girlfriend as well as friends of the female race. My ma just turned 59 on January 13th, and my dad turns 58 in July, and their physical health is beginning to shut down as they get older.
My ma and pa have court-appointed co-guardianship of me, and one of the things on the court report, it asks have I attempted to attend any social situations (outings, events, etc), have I attempted to apply to a 2- or 4-year university (educational), or have I attempted to apply for or sign up for any type of training (vocational). As of 2008, they've told the Roanoke County (as well as the Roanoke City) court that nothing has improved.
I feel guilty and hopeless, and I'm just wasting resources as I sit around and do nothing.


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ruckus
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18 Jan 2013, 9:22 pm

It doesn't sound like you're having a "tough time" with women so much as you are completely failing to treat them with respect. Is there a reason for the hostility you showed toward the women in your family? Because that sort of behaviour is not normal and not okay.



Stargazer43
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18 Jan 2013, 9:56 pm

ruckus wrote:
It doesn't sound like you're having a "tough time" with women so much as you are completely failing to treat them with respect. Is there a reason for the hostility you showed toward the women in your family? Because that sort of behaviour is not normal and not okay.


That's kind of the impression I got also...calling people all of those colorful names isn't exactly the best way to build friendships.



Who_Am_I
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19 Jan 2013, 2:39 am

Quote:
I put my middle finger in the air, cursing them, saying "F**k you to all the female cousins."


Don't do that.

Quote:
Then, days after the get-together, I emailed my dad's oldest sister, saying that his youngest sister dressed like a hooker.


Don't do that; it's none of your damn business how people dress.

Quote:
In the recent past, I've called both my female cousins and my dad's sisters b*****s, sluts and whores.


Don't call people nasty names.

Quote:
I went for my 4-week orientation, and then after my orientation, I only went two days, and then cancelled the transportation that was being provided by my insurance. I was having sexual feelings for the director of the day program. That was majorly the reason I left.


For crying out loud, learn to masturbate to let some steam off!
Besides, having feelings doesn't have to mean acting on them.

Quote:
started having sexual feelings for my job coach in the beginning months of my training, so I was forced to quit.


Jesus Christ; if people quit things every time they got horny, most 13-year-old boys would never leave the house.


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rabidmonkey4262
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19 Jan 2013, 12:33 pm

ruckus wrote:
It doesn't sound like you're having a "tough time" with women so much as you are completely failing to treat them with respect. Is there a reason for the hostility you showed toward the women in your family? Because that sort of behaviour is not normal and not okay.
Yes to the above. Sounds like you just need to learn how to respect people. It doesn't take a social genius to figure out why you have trouble with women.


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VAGraduateStudent
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19 Jan 2013, 4:16 pm

I noticed that you called women the "female race." Do you understand that women and men are all "human" and further that aspies and neurotypicals are both "human"?

I think you need to back yourself up here and first decide if you WANT to control yourself. If you do, you're going to have to put forth a very big effort to completely change your behavior in order to be around people. To be frank, it sounds like you're behaving like a monkey let out of his cage and I'm not sure why, unless you won't or think you can't control your behavior.

If you want to control yourself, you can consider yourself to be a video game character and you push the buttons to control everything you do. If you see a woman you like, you permit yourself to only say certain things for awhile, such as "how are you?" "do you like the weather today?" or "how's work?" The only responses you allow yourself to give are "that's nice" "that's too bad" or "I'm glad to hear that". After a few weeks maybe you can start to speak with her like you would a male friend.

If you don't like someone, don't talk to them at all. If you feel physically excited by a woman, just walk somewhere else and think about something boring or distracting until you don't feel that way anymore. Remember that women are the same as men. They just look different and have different ways of socializing. Everyone deserves respect.

If you understand that you are in control of your own behavior and take steps to improve it by interacting very simply and strictly, you will see a big improvement in your life. I think you will feel better about others and I think they will also feel better about you.



Eurythmic
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21 Jan 2013, 5:53 am

Dear goodness OP, you sure know how to win friends and influence people.

You say you are having a tough time getting along with your female relatives and then go on to outline all of the ways you have treated them disrespectfully.

This ain't rocket science dude.

If you treat people badly expect them not to want to be around you.