Paralyzed around social situations

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I have a tendency to feel almost paralyzed with respect to social relationships; this includes both potential friends and potential romantic interests.

I may sometimes initiate conversation with others. But relationships rarely develop because I at some point back off to the point where I shut them out. I have never asked a girl out before. Plus, when people approach me, I'm very happy but usually end up shutting them out in some way, or just becoming hyper passive and agreeable, so there's never sufficient give-and-take for a relationship to develop. Also, how can you ever develop any kind of relationship where you just expect people to invite you places and never invite others to do things in return? Not sure how people get to the point where they can invite others to do anything. I've never been there. Always dependent on others to take initiative 100% of the time. So it's a wonder I actually have ever had any friends at all.

I don't think I have experienced rejection to the extent that others on WP have because I'm never in a position to get rejected. I guess you could call it "uber low" social functioning. Or not even getting to the point where other aspies experience problems.

Is there a name for this?

Last edited by Tyri0n on 04 Feb 2013, 12:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'm much the same.

Often when presented with something unexpected, I step back and think about it for a few days. For example, after I ate lunch today I walked over to where my cousin's wife was eating in the same restaurant to say hello. She was sitting with another woman I don't remember ever meeting. I'm not sure but she seemed intent on keeping our conversation going, which took me rather surprise. I don't know if that was a come-on or something else and after a few minutes I found it necessary to say goodbye to them and head for the door so that I could think about it a while.

Sounds like me. At my first college internship, a girl invited me to lunch with her every day for an entire week, and I wanted to go very badly but somehow ended up not going each time. For me, it's more a "I want to do this just not right now" instead of a thinking about it.

I'm very much the same way, it's one of my biggest hindrances socially I think. When I do invite people places, I often feel like I'm being too pushy or overbearing, same when I contact people frequently. So, I pretty much end up relying on them to do all the work. I've tried to change this many times, but it just never seems to work out quite as planned.