Thoughts on friendship, social interaction, emotion

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You know how sometimes when you get the hang of something, like a math problem or a board game, or anything, you get a good feeling, a sense of accomplishment? When I do something well socially, like make the right eye contact or say the right thing, I feel good and accomplished, and I enjoy the endearments of others. That NTs do this so often and so well means that social interaction must be something they really get the hang of, and then, for them, it becomes like second nature. The effort they feel in everday social interaction is not straining at all. Every social situation has an answer, and simply saying the answer solves the problem (accomplishes the goal) and the NT feels good about it. The NTs share this feeling, and that contributes to friendship.

But this is not quite the same as saying that social interaction automatically equals friendship. There can be all kinds of social interaction encompassing all kinds of emotion. To an NT, a situation involving social interaction without emotion is bland and they may well pass it off as meaningless, unless it pertains to work, school, or a chore that must be accomplished. An angry social interaction does not contribute to friendship, either. But the key for NTs is that they can resolve certain social interactions that seem angry, perhaps with a single intoned syllable, and this disarms the person or persons who are angry, and restores the equilibrium, which is that of a shared good feeling.

Moreover, social interaction such as ordering something from the menu at a fast food restaurant or asking the teacher about a statement in a textbook (in some cases) is that kind of bland social interaction that is necessary, but not building towards friendship. Friendship is much more complicated than that; it very well could be a series of challenges, such ones that involve the disequilibrium mentioned earlier, that build towards an eventual establishment of friendship.

This is a process of discovery for me. These words summarize my feelings at this point. I hopefully will become more aware of the ins and outs of friendship. And post anything else I find, here, of course.

i feel amazing when i've sucessfully socialized! i feel as if i could go build bridges or run a triathalon. if i have an uncomfortable conversation or the person doesn't understand me then i leave the conversation thinking of it as futile and i feel nothing.

i just don't know how to start a conversation properly. unlike, someone who starts a conversation with "Hi, how are you?" and talks about things that bore me like when they were born(i'll normally start talking zodiac symbols if the conversation goes this way), or my hobbies, i prefer to talk about random things.

i don't care how cute justin timberlake is for crying out loud! although, i like his last name...timber and lake...of course they don't care about his last name, just that new song of his...ermm...sexyback and how cute he is.

all i really need is an hour or so of wonderful socializing and i'm fine.

I've always been best off when there's only one NT to interact with, I can recall, improvise and regulate my conversations (Most of which involve me staying quiet for a lengthy period of time, NTs enjoy people who'll let them rant their in-efficiant brains out!) until the NT collapses in a fit of laughter. There's a rythym to human speech, a pattern.....

The trick is finding it.